The Subjectivity of Euphoria.

I hope our bodies explode tonight when the clock strikes 12.

Comedy in Tragedy.

It worked.

It wouldn't have worked half as well as it did if I wasn't feeling as down as I was last night.

I'm tired and I don't want to think.

Currently reading Memoirs of a Geisha. It's a good story to be immersed in. Finally.

Reading saves souls.

Jet Black New Year

If I can't have a better tomorrow, then I'll just settle for a better next year.

I can't fucking wait for this year to end. It's possibly the worst year out of my 19 years on Earth. Absolute pits.

I badly need to laugh. I'm hoping that Kungfu Hustle will not disappoint me. Stephen Chow has never let me down in the past and he had better not let me down now.

...bye bye world...

Yellow Earth

auralorgasm:: Smashing Pumpkins - Siva

If there's one thing I really regret, it's not paying attention during Chinese lessons in secondary school. I currently think that the Chinese language is the most beautiful language on earth. Watched Yellow Earth today and whoa, the way they spoke the language was so amazing.

It's so smooth and fluent that it's almost like music, such a pleasure to listen to.

I would relearn chinese but I'm too lazy. Gahh.

I really feel bad for the people that got affected by that freak of nature. 22,000++++ people died. I couldn't believe it when I heard about it and it's only when I read the news that it hit me.

I have no idea what to say about it. Uhm, godspeed you poor souls? Damn it. I guess I just ought to be thankful that Singapore's protected because of it's (I quote my social studies text which I memorised back in secondary school) "strategic geographical location".

I finally can put into use what I learnt in Social Studies. I'm so proud of myself hur hur hur.

The photo below's pretty badly taken but I dig the colour so fuck it heh heh heh.


Purplexed.

Proved me right.

Another chapter closed.

With a bookmark.

C'est la vie.

Hope for a better tomorrow. (which will probably get shot down)

Khalil's 19 today and there's nothing I wish for him more than to be happy.

Happy birdday you indie bugger. Hahaha.

I'm hoping like I've never hoped before that everything will turn out okay today. Please please please please.

Wah fuck scared.

I hope I don't fuck up today. If not, I'm gonna be so ticked off at myself. I've had enough nights of forehead slapping and groaning aloud. SHITTTTT.

Okay shut up now.

I just bought the Sony ne10 and new headphones. The Sony ne10 had to be bought since my sister wanted my discman but I gotta admit, the headphones were pretty unnecessary. My justification for the purchase is that the headphones in the editing room suck and I would edit better with my own set of proper soundproofed headphones. Which of course is a load of bullshit but hey, I'll feel guilty otherwise. My other justification is that I rarely buy stuff for myself and since this is one of the few occasions, why not?

Ok now it's time to survive on bread for the rest of the month. It's either that or I quit smoking. I stand by the former choice.

OR I could get a job at starfucks.

But then I'll feel suicidal almost everyday and I don't think that's a very healthy situation to be in.

Watched Woody Allen's Love and Death for the second time and it's enormously enjoyable. I'm so glad I got my brother to borrow it again haha. Oh, my brother's getting to be really good at macro-buggery-photography. Which means he's now snapping pictures of bugs in closeup (beetles, praying mantises, whatnot) whenever he has the chance. Some of the shots are really quite orgasmic. Macam national geographic haha. I'm quite proud of him.

Okay having 2 really fucked up classes tomorrow. I hate IS classes. I'll like to know which dipshit ever suggested having IS in school. Totally fuckin irrelevant. Waste of brain cells and waste of time. Gahh.

We'll find our way back.

I spent christmas night with gay men and their gay dogs. Fuckin hell. The situations which I get myself into are starting to scare me.

I only fuckin went because my straight female friend wanted me to accompany her there. How I regretted saying yes.

Spent the afternoon at Hayley's christmas gathering thingie. Food was pretty okay. Ate till I felt bloated. Company was pretty topnotch so I'm not complaining.

This is probably the first picture Spider and me ever took in our years of friendship. Presenting, my best friend and her dog. Dumbfuck dog.

I hate christmas.


Casper, Spider, and me.

Links 234.

Link's aren't gonna get fucking updated if you fuckers don't leave your fucking urls.

Fucking fuckers.

Red Christmas.

First off, merry christmas.

Secondly, I don't mean it.

Thirdly, I'm at a pretty confusing stage of my life now. I'm not down, I'm just confused and I don't know what to do. Shan't say much of it here.

Fourthly, took a few pictures just now. I don't really like the composition but whaddafuck, long time never take so just whack only lah. I think I'm digging warmth in pictures.

Lastly, I just don't know what to do. Refer to third point.


The Lonely Burn.

King Cheese.

Fuckin hell this is amazing. I just took a look through my old history textbook and found cheesy love poems which I wrote to an ex-girlfriend back in secondary school.

I don't even fuckin remember writing those. It's moderately amusing and so fucking goosebumping.

Just call me, King Cheese.

Kinda reminded me on why I hate writing poetry. Oh shite, my handwriting sucked really badly then too. Hardly any difference now but whaddaheck.

On a fucked up note, a pair have got back together and another one has broken up. I hate not knowing what to say or to do.

EH I REALLY GOT TO STOP SAYING AND TYPING 'FUCK'. It's getting really stupid and lame.

Note to self: Stop it you dick.

Note to note to self: Try ah.

Looking through my history book also reminded me of the times spent studying and choking down historical facts and dates for about 2 hours before finally giving up and going to play Counterstrike at the nearest LAN shop. Ahhh, those were the good ol' days when all that mattered was to have shitloads of fun. My best friends were dickheads and I was a moron so crazy things happened on a daily basis.

I didn't understand many things then, nor did I need to understand. Love was a foreign concept to me while fun was an old companion. It seems pretty much the opposite these days.

So much for the old days.

BIG BIG INDIAN MAN.

I hate doing my work at night nowadays. I tend to want to fall asleep in front of my computer.

Scriptwriting's such a drag since I just found out that only 3 pages of script was needed but I didn't know that at first so I went ahead and wrote 8 pages. Fucking hell. Effort wasted. Now I'll have to condense the thing and I'm too tired to do it so fuck it, fuck scriptwriting!

It's amazing what lies my school can come up with in order to get new students. I hate NP. FSV's starting to become retarded. Yeah, the year 3s were right. After going out to work I feel so jaded.

Farewell, my Concubine is truly an amazing film. If you don't get what I mean, just go watch it. I loved every minute of it. The ending is really good too.

I probably should start updating my links already but 1) I don't have everyone's link, 2) I don't quite have the time, 3) I'm too lazy. But leave your links here by commenting on this entry. Don't tag with your link, it'll probably be gone by the time I gather up enough motivation to update heh.

I don't miss the friends I never had but I miss the friends I never realised I had.

On a side note, 2 of my very good friends have broken up and although I hate it when that happens, I just don't know what to tell them. I'm just saying that it's a serious waste and things could be much better but then again, I'm not them and I don't know how they feel so I can't say much.

But fuck lah, you two really damn wasted can?

Oh well, I enjoyed both your company and I hope that it'll all be fine in the end although I have more than an inkling that it won't be.

One last thing before I go to bed.

Pills won't make you happy. Pills only give you an illusion of happiness.

But then again, happiness is just an illusion anyway.

Yes, just a fucking illusion.

Dream.

I want to heal your pain.

S.O.S

The amount of times I've tried (and failed) to be a nicer and better person has only been outnumbered by the times I've tried (and still failing) to quit smoking.

I'm currently burning up 20+ sticks a day. That's extremely fucked up. But with long breaks and fucked up lecturers, I can't fight the urge. I'm trying for 5 sticks tomorrow. 4 hour break, so it shouldn't be that bad.

And if it is then I'm fucked.

Work is piling and piling and piling up and I can't do most of it because I don't even fucking understand what the bloody lecturers are talking about. It could have been so simple, write a script or write a term paper, or whatever but they just had to blow it all up and tell us to 'write two letters in the form of a script about the same person in different times, in the now and in the past' (or some shit like that) and 'okay when you do your term paper I want two inches of spacing here if not I'll minus your marks and oh, you'll have to do a proposal for your paper outlining what you're going to write about'.

What the fuck. A proposal for an essay?! A thesis statement yes but a PROPOSAL!?!

I don't know how I'm going to survive this semester. Ds, here I come!

I would probably write something more intelligent but I think I'm becoming stupid. I catch myself doing and saying the dumbest things at the weirdest of times. Pretty damn fucked up.

Oh well, everyone must become dumb one day so uhh, why not now?

Watching two really orgasmic films in a day can be wonderfully cathartic. First one was Musa the Warrior, this Korean period flick about Mongolians, Koreans, Huns, and if I'm not wrong, Manchurians. There was even an indian inside it. Lots and lots of war violence and blood. I liiiiiiiiiike. Made me proud to be asian anyway. Cinematography was awesome.

Come to think of it, I'll rather be fighting with spears and swords than with guns and more guns. It's so much more fun that way. Well, at least it looks fun, people going 'AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH' and 'KILL KILL KILL' and screaming other equally nice things while charging at the enemy who is most likely to be coincidentally (does this phrase even make sense?) screaming something similar.

Ahhh, can you feel the love in the air?

I haven't finished Chen Kai Ge's Farewell, My Concubine but I'm halfway through and I'm enjoying myself hugely so far. Bloody library chased me out before I could finish it. Will finish it tomorrow so I'll see how it goes.

I really love watching films like these. Drags me out of my seat and into the film itself. Wonderful.

Argh, gonna watch Ichi the Killer tomorrow during Regional Cinema. I don't know whether I'll be able to stomache it. I don't have much of a tolerance for horror or gore.

Which reminds me of the time where this girl wanted me to watch Dark Water with her because she was scared and I ended up hiding behind her most times but that's another story for another day.

Bye.

/

Got a feeling I'm gonna fuck up this semester.

Too much work, too little time.

I think I'm going to hate Regional Cinema and Audiopost. Fuck, should really have taken video instead of sound.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

On a brighter note, I learnt how to use cutters and flags and how to better light a scene. Yessssssssss.

Met a lighting guru who's my age and damnnnnn good at what he does. Shite, I'm missing out on a lot. Gotta hurry the fuck up.

K I'm getting boring.

Which is why you should stop wasting your time reading this crap.

Unimaginative title.

My forearm fucking hurts from carrying around heavy stuff all day. Been on set since 6.30am till 10.30pm. Fucking crazy.

They had some really lovely shots though. The locations were also damn happening. I had fun.

Okay tired. I'll sleep and blog more 3 days later.

On a fucking huge bright note, I met Ace. He was the guy that directed Yi for Canon DV. He didn't win but he's fucking crazy in a 'i-love-film' kind of way.

He swears that his next short film is going to be totally off the wall just because he feels like doing 'a lot of fuckshit'.

Ahhh I'm tired. I'm going to sleep.

As I've promised.

Entry removed.

I cannot forgive and I cannot forget. If you want to treat me as a friend, go ahead. You aren't my enemy but I hate you to a degree I never thought possible. I won't hide anything. You've got a long way to go before you'll be able to regain my trust.

Same goes for the rest of you.

But I'll try too; just not that hard.

Tonight a new revelation: It's true that only a Libran can say 'I hate you' with a smile on his face.

Shoot in 2 hours. FUCK!

***

I wish I could talk to you but everytime I see you, I clam up so badly. I think I'm scared of you and the effect you have on me.

I don't mean to do the things I do, or to say the stuff I say. You just make me so wrongfooted that I panic and my mind goes blank. I don't mean to turn my back on you every single time. Wah lao. I'm such a retard.

I'm so useless when it comes to shit like this. AHHHHHHHH.

I kick myself every night. Bah.

Lemony Snicket.

Lemony Snicket: A series of unfortunate events is coming out soon! One of my favourite series of books turned into a film with Jim Carrey starring as the evil guardian, fuck I gotta catch this one.

It's gonna get crazy in school. Due to our wonderful government shortening our school semester, I now have less time to do work, which means late nights in school, which means,

AH FUCK LAH.

Fuck ups and shut the fuck ups.

Words always fail me during the times when I need them the most.

Gosh I'm such a dumb schmuck.

WAH LAO EHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Okay so this is it, my life's not exactly very rosy right now but I don't forsee any fuckups coming my way so soon.

That's the fucked up part. Everytime I think nothing bad is gonna happen, it hits me with the force of a banana thrown by Godzilla.

Scriptwriting's starting to get on my nerves. For a media lecturer, the bulgarian fellow is fuckin narrow minded. I don't trust him. Period.

Yes! I see a fuck up dawning on the horizon!

Yay.

I feel tired tonight.

I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't feel like doing anything, and I don't give a shit about how anybody feels.

My left earlobe is swollen. I feel two extremely painful lumps when I press down on the lobe. Fuck.

Once the gun goes off, there's no way I can stop the bullets from hitting the target. But then again, there's a reason for why the gun went off in the first place.

There is no hope for me. I am beyond redemption. I seem to lose myself everytime I manage to find myself.

This vicious cycle has repeated itself so many times that I don't even know what's the difference between being lost and being me. I sort of remember but the memory is vague.

I'm just really tired tonight.

...

Some things just shouldn't be said.

Myth Manglers.

Watched Disney's cartoon version of Hercules today and I really cannot believe how badly they mangled the myth.

I mean c'mon, Hercules wasn't the birth child of Hera and Zeus wasn't this ladida daddy figure. When Hades drowned in his own river, yeah that was it, I couldn't help but wince. AND WHAT'S WITH THE LOVE BETWEEN HERA AND HERCULES?!?! Fucking Disney.

I dig mythology of all kinds, especially greek, norse and egyptian so I don't take too kindly to idiots muddying things up. Mythologies are the ultimate stories, infused with heroes, lovely chicks, fantastic creatures and gods with superpowers. Just my type of thing. Of course some of the gods were always horny so yeah a bit of screwing didn't hurt.

My report's halfdone and I've already hit 1380 words. On retrospect, I think I could probably cut down on the bitterness and sarcasm but that would leave with about uhm 300 words?

Ah fuck it, time for bed. Productivity and Quality Studies class tomorrow. Doesn't that sound just so fucking exciting?

Bah.

ITP Revisited.

What is with people shutting down blogs nowadays, or not updating for that matter.

Just a thought.

auralorgasm:: Deathcab for Cutie - Technicolour Girls

It's time to start on my 1500 word report for ITP and fuck I think my gastric's back.

Stay out please.

My head and heart are two absolutely no-go areas.

AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.

And I really detest people who sneak in there without asking.

Rain down on me.

Although I really, really, really dig rainy nights, they tend to screw me over really bad. Tonight's not an exception.

I would like to think that everything will eventually turn out fine but the sad truth is, it probably won't. I'd be damn surprised if something actually goes right for me. It's been a really fucked up year and by the look of things, it'll probably get worse next year. Not a very cheerful thought.

I wish I could find someone whom I could totally trust so I could just unburden all my worries unto that person, then I could suck him or her into my little world of misery so that I don't have to suffer alone. Misery loves company, right?

Oh shit I wasn't supposed to say that. Now the truth is out.

YES I'M ACTUALLY A NASTY PERSON!

Right, so now that you all know the truth, please focus your attention on the starving children of Somalia. I think they'll be easier to exploi.., uh I mean help.

Yesssssss. A new cause to rally for. How fucking exciting.

This is so fucked up and wrong.

Ow.

I've got a tummyache that won't go away.

My demons will dance with you.

I hate saying some things but most times, you just bring out the worst in me.

***

The Bulgarian lecturer's turning out to be pretty okay in scriptwriting tutorial. Actually learned something from him today. I don't understand him most times because of his accent but I guess it's no biggie since the people around me do.

***

I hate not being a good talker.

May be hard to believe but I'm caligynephobic.

I'm just another fuckin retard.

But at least I know what I want.

***

Bugger off.

Eh read lah bodoh.

Eh you really damn amazing. Can peng wei until say I intimidate your friends? Wah lao eh fuck you lah. You dumb or what? In what capacity am I able intimidate your friends? I've got nothing to threaten them with. Your friends so weak ah? And please, it's not 'friends', it's 'friend'. SINGULAR.

Eh eh eh eh your own taiji lah. I cannot be bothered with your finger pointing. Yes, make me the central enemy.

But I'm the central enemy who reads George Orwell and therefore, knows what you're up to.

Saddest thing is, all your hard-earned respect from people have all gone down to shithole. Damn sad case lah you.

K lah give you chance, blame on me okay?

Yah ah I'm Singaporean. I speak singlish, and not with a fake american accent. Look at yourself in the mirror lah dickhead. You malay/chinese or white? Your japanese girlfriend forcing you to speak with american accent is it? You don't fake the accent she won't love you anymore ah? Hahahahhahahaha.

Damn loser sial you.

Sleep.

Amazingly too tired to blog, considering that I've slept half the day away in school.

The fishes are biting on empty hooks. How dumb.

Thanks to Sammie for her thoughtfulness in getting a Keira Knightley poster for a belated birthday gift. Never mind that Keira Knightley looks really ugly in it, it's the thought that counts and I do appreciate it.

But wah lao how come she look so ugly?!?!

I'm heartbroken :(

Career choices.

Last semester I was a financial planner. This semester I'm going to be a biologist.

This seems like a throwback to yesteryear when my dad would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I would reply, 'I don't know. Maybe a fireman, or a photographer'.

When I was in primary school and just started on my lifelong journey of failing math, my dad would lecture me on the importance of studying saying, 'if you don't study hard and pass your o levels, next time you become cameraman how? Cannot earn money one you know?!'

Yes dad, how right you are.

On a more depressing note, I'm now more fearful of making new relationships in fear of being let down again. It's been a tough ride for the past few months and although I survived, I never want to repeat any part of it again.

"I breathe the hopes that you've all forgotten/
lay on my back and dream of screams/
will we ever be the same/

I'm not afraid to be alone/
I can hear my heart speaking/
it's true that the earth and the muses/
they know your name/"

Jvlz - Solivagus.

I will never regret ever writing this song.

Thought.

Hmpf.

Fuck Gun IV.

The world will end in 2847193048729 minutes.

Counting down. Starship 985, report to port 73 immediately.

I bet nobody notices this title.

I've just successfully slept 15 hours, from 9pm to 12pm with a memory of waking up at around 1.54am and saying 'wah fuck' because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get to sleep again and would have to spend the next 12 hours walking about doing nothing.

I hate waking up coz of the phlegm and other lovely stuff that'll be blocking up my nasal passageways. Zzzzz.

Work's yesterday, nothing to do today other than to pack my stuff, and school starts tomorrow. Wonderful.

I'm just so fucking bored.

I hate everyone today.

It's finally over. 6 weeks of fucking hell. OVER.

I'm so happy.

And pissed off at the same time because of the pay I got. Definitely not worth it, working for them. Bitches.

It wouldn't be so bad if I actually did learn something but the only thing I've learnt was that middle aged chinese people can be such stingy fuckheads. Fuck ITP. Attachment is just a load of bullshit.

To all those that did enjoy their itp, fuck you. Don't talk to me about it because I'll kill you if you do.

Please.

I think I love you enough to be there when you need me.

Fuck the war.


A cuppa, any night.

Khwismas would be cool if...

YOU GIVE ME LOTS OF NICE PRESENTS GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME!!!!!

Yeah.

I don't even know what I want.

Speaking of which, the only thing I want is finally coming. ITP IS FUCKING ENDING WOOOHOOO. One more bloody day of being 'just another fucking intern' and then I'll be free!

(Then comes the 8am classes and 7 hour breaks but never mind about that, I'll worry about it when the time comes.)

Gonna get meself the sony ne10 and new headphones. Finally, something useless to splurge on. I'm such a metrosexual.

One day I'm going to have so much money I don't know what to do with it. Hahaha, not as if I know what to do with my money especially when cigarettes are so cheap. There's nothing to buy because I already have all the stuff I need.

auralorgasm:: The Postal Service - Nothing Better

Wait, I need new albums. Deathcab for Cutie, The Postal Service, Leaves Eyes, and Mute Math. I want Mute Math's one so much but unfortunately, I can't find it in Singapore. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk.

auralorgasm:: Mute Math - Reset

My mom just agreed to sponsor me a trip to China but I've got no one to go with. Sigh. No time too. I want to visit the countryside, and eat dog meat, snake meat, and bullfrogs. Not to mention other unmentionables. If I could speak Chinese more fluently I'll probably go alone but I can't. Can't read chinese that well too.

If I knew this would happen, I probably would have put more effort into learning the language in secondary school.

auralorgasm:: Jack Off Jill - Strawberry Gashes

For all aspiring emcees, please at least improve your oratory skills before hosting an event. I'm a pretty tolerant person when it comes to Singaporeans speaking bad english but an emcee saying phrases like 'DO YOU HAVE FUN?!' and 'GIVE THEM A BIG HAND OF APPRAUSE!' (please note the 'r' in applause) and 'Mewwy KHWISMAS' in a way that made me think she was trying damn hard to have an orgasm. That is just a tad too much. Andoo and I were laughing so hard we could hardly do proper pans and zooms while shooting.

Amelia wants to be Rufus Wainwright's jellybean. Anybody has his handphone number?

I probably should update all my links but I'm just too lazy to. Bahhhhhhhhhhh.

The first half hour of The Gods must be Crazy 1 is just exactly what I mean. I want to be a wild caveman. Just a thought, sex wouldn't be called such. It'll be called mating. No wait, if I really were a wildman, I'd call it 'casjcquak asnck ajsk azq'.

Heh. Just for fun, try pronouncing it.

And laugh at yourself afterward because you actually listened to me and tried pronouncing such a ridiculous phrase.

Last day of work starts at 7.40am tomorrow. Shite. They're determined to drain me of all energy before they let me go. Never fear, I shall perservere!

In some weird retarded way, I'm happy that that rhymed heh.

Yes, Mewwy Khwismas to you too.

Christmas sucks.

Fuck you Santa. Bloody old fuck. You don't even fucking exist.

Fuck christmas, the time for giving and receiving my arse. Fuck off. Bloody transparent.

Fuck you christmas. Fuck you Santa. Fuck off.

It ain't even Jesus' proper birthday.

FUCK OFF LAHHHHHHHHHH. STOP IRRITATING ME WITH ALL YOUR FAKE CHRISTMAS CHEER AND CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

I'm the christmas grump. FUCK OFF DUN@C@M)MC)M$#@)CM)!@MC!@.

Hyuk.

This is one of the few times when it's such a bitch not to have cable tv. I really want to catch The 4400. The concept is just so cool. 4400 missing persons all suddenly appear on a beach one day. I wonder how they're gonna pull that off.

I think I'll be getting a new discman and giving my old one to my sister. Either that or I'll get a new one for my sister and send the old one for repairs. Whaddafuck lah, both still need money. Gahhhhhhh.

Btw, didn't mention it in my previous post but the 'in' colour of brothels is no longer red. It's purple. Saw a whole row of purple brothels last night when walking through Geylang. Fuzz, I think that's a sign.

According to news reports, Taufik will not be going anywhere soon since World Idol's been cancelled while Sylvester will be having loads of fun and groupies as a Mandopop star since his career path has more or less been settled. I love it when I'm right about stuff. Oh yeahhhhhhhhhh.

Ah fuck both of them, the fame machine will spit them out soon enough.

Just another somebody.

Watching Singapore Idol live was really quite an eye-opener. I never knew how much of a groupie the average Singaporean could be until tonight.

Taufik has won the battle but he'll still lose the war. Sylvester has got the potential to win a regional fan base while Taufik, sadly, has got little chance of winning anything. But I'm glad that talent and hardwork (no matter how little) has won the day.

I refuse to call anybody an idol. I'll never put so much trust in a person that I'll think that he/she's perfect, or almost perfect.

My industrial hurts. I've been tossing and turning too much lately while sleeping on account of my dreams and I've done the piercing an injury. It hurts like fuck.

3 days more to the end of ITP! Hurray.

I absolutely abhor it when people refuse to answer their calls just so that they can avoid responsibility. I also detest people coming to me when they need my help and who couldn't care less whenever I need theirs. I also hate people who avoid me just because.

Just checked my timetable again and there is still a 7 hour break in my thursday schedule and four 8am classes in a week. My fridays are still packed tight with a one hour break in the middle of a 9 hour day and I still have one 4 hour break and one 5 hour break on tuesdays and wednesdays respectively. This is just so wrong.

Surely by now I've finished up all the bad luck there is in the bag of karma and it's time for the good luck to come in. At least I hope so.

Sometimes I hate being so tactless, regretting the words as soon as they leave my mouth. But most times, since it's out anyway, I just barge straight on to make sure the damage is complete and not half-fucked.

And that's why I can't sleep at night sometimes.

Ambiguity on the Internet.

Stupid and weak, that's what you are. The thing you fear the most is going to happen to you. And I'm still sorry for you, that you are so deluded and so much in denial.

I PITY YOU.

Okay enough, I'm not gonna stoop to your level. I'll feel disgusted at myself.

I'm addicted to The Postal Service. I could just listen to his voice forever.

Work starts tomorrow again, and will continue till saturday. It's only 4 days more. Heh. TAHANNNNNNNNNNN.

The Postal Service makes me want to go to sleep and not wake up ever again. They make everything seem so nostalgic and wistful that it's just beautiful to see the world through their music.

Recent developements in my life has made me feel like a misfit again. I think I'll always be the tall guy who's stupid looking and extremely uncomfortable to be with.

And that's really not a bad thought.

I want to sleep tonight and never wake up again.

"Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in."