I hate technology.

First it was my main com, now it's my laptop. It's official. My laptop's internet connectivity is dead. Which means a lot of stuff I've been meaning to post up will be stuck in there forever and ever. Or at least until I decide to bring it to MEL to get it fixed up.

Don't look for an update so soon, come back in like 3 weeks and maybe there'll be an update.

(But then again maybe I'm just being a bastard and there'll be a proper post tomorrow only that if you did believe me today you won't be able to see it so HAH fuck you.)

La di da.

In other news, everything's going fine. I'm in a state of blissful ignorance and I intend to stay this way. No use bothering myself about stuff which doesn't concern me. My main worry now is just production planning. I'm sooo behind everything.

Ah fuck it.

Quickie.

There's a blog titled after my favourite SP song. Omg.

Too bad the kid ain't posting anymore. Such a pity.

Norton antivirus sucks cock.

As my title suggests, norton antivirus is the suckage.

Not only does it NOT fend off antiviruses infiltrating my system, it has to bother me with useless live updates. Fucking hell. My laptop's internet connectivity is down I think because of viruses. Wah lao eh.

Damn sian.

No more pictures for a long time coz everything is in my laptop and I can't connect fuck fuck fuck.

I am your death.

Has it ever occurred to you that soon, one day you'll just close your eyes and slip into an eternal oblivion? Into a sleep without dreams from which you cannot wake.

I swear, sometimes the stuff I think about really clashes with my religion.

But then again, I think therefore I am.

Anyway, jammed with our new violinist today and it's orgasmic. GOT FEELING WOOHOOO. But it's gonna be hard trying to fit her into our lineup. It's gonna be a lot of work heh. But it's seriously orgasmic hahaha. And don't fucking compare us to Yellowcard. Bah. We really believe that with this new addition, we will be able to express ourselves more with music. I look forward to the next jamming session.

In other news, I've really lost my mojo! No motivation at all! I don't see any sense in modules like Financial Planning or Multitrack. Production Planning is necessary but it is so fucking repetitive that I really get bored to bits doing it. It's a module in which a distinction or at least an A+ is so simple to achieve yet it deadens the mind. Argh.

I enjoy Documentary Production but the lecturer teaching it is quite another matter. All these things frustrate me so much. Financial Planning makes me feel as though I was back in Math class in secondary school where I would be clenching my fists, gritting my teeth, feeling damn restless and going 'imnotmeantforthisimnotmeantforthisIMNOTFUCKINGMEANTFORTHIS'. I thought I escaped math when I left secondary school but nooooooooooo, I didn't count for IS to shove finances down my throat. Fucking hell.

This semester sucks. The assignments can be done but I just can't be bothered argh.

Okay enough said here are pictures of our new violinist. Sorry if the pictures are unfocused. I took this with flash in complete darkness.


This is Mika.

This is Mika when she's acting kawaii

Yeah you get the point.

For the first time, I'm not looking forward to school.

FUCK!

Sadistique.

I'm feeling extremely vengeful right now. I have this really strong urge to get a shotgun and run around, blowing the heads off the people whom I hate.

And everyday the list grows longer.

BANG. 

The technological retard speaks again.

FUCK I JUST LOST MY WHOLE POST JUST BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID FUCKING DEBUGGING SHIT THINGIE FUCK DIUN#@C)@C

Never mind.

The gist of it all is,

I.love.my.mom.I.love.my.mom.I.love.my.mom.

I fucking love her.

No she didn't get me anything. I love her simply because she's my mom and her love for us is limitless, boundless, selfless, and unconditional. When I think of all the sacrifices that she had made for us, I always get possessed by this maniacal urge to rob a bank, get the money and bring her out for dinner at the finest vegetarian restaurant in Singapore.

Momma's boy hahaha.

Fuck you I still love her.

In other news, Poff has gotten a new violionist. She's from Japan and we call her The Stoner Japanese. She's cool to hang with but we haven't really seen her musical abilities yet. We're jamming tomorrow so we'll see how it goes.

Some shameless other-promotion here (as opposed to self-promotion), Press Play and A Vacant Affair (formerly known as Cheapthrills) will be playing outside Cineleisure this saturday at 6pm and 7pm respectively. If you don't come, you really suck.

I've pretty much given upon reading news regarding the Iraq insurgency. It's fucking depressing to know that innocent people are constantly under the threat of being beheaded alive because of a war for which they care nothing for. It's sick. I may be an asshole but I do not condone the beheading of live victims. At least fucking shoot them first or something. The worst thing is that the situation's getting worse day after day.

Damnnnnnnnn fucked up.

Okay I go bathe and sleep good night.

P.S: I liked my other post better but nabei stupid debugger lost it. Cheeeeeeebye.

Lost Prophets - Gothic

"It's not the end if you just say hello again..."

Anonymous has a point. Don't fuck with him/her.

Change to become what? I'm merely protecting myself. If you liked me last time, it was most probably because I was nice enough for you to exploit and use. Fuck that shit. Those were the worst days of my life. I felt like shit back then. Hah. Back then. It hasn't even been 3 months since the day I 'changed'.

If I've changed, blame yourself. It was probably because of you.

In other news, Poff is looking for a violinist to join us for the recording of one song. Preferably a human female who's really hot. Thanks.

We're also looking for a web designer who'll do a complete revamp on our website for free and in return he/she will have our eternal gratitude.

What's it like to be a business student and have to live with facts, figures and corporate bollocks? What is it like to be an engineering/IT student and be stuck in a building all day long? What is it like to have to restrict your creativity?

Fucked up.

Bah humbug.

Solivagus

Poff - The Lonely is now known as Solivagus. Fuck what you think of the name, I don't care. I think it's nice.
 
Taking care of Numero Uno I call it.
 
Anyway, I really gotta start watching what I say. I apparently was rude to Amah and she got pissed off at me although I swear I didn't mean to be rude to her. Honestly, confirm plus guarantee. Why ah I always like that. I seem to find it cathartic to pull cheap shots at people just for the kick of it. (But for Amah I didn't even know I was rude.)
 
I'm such a fuckwad.
 
Not been posting really nice posts OR regularly due to school. Second year is uhm.. not fun. I mean yeah I've gotten closer to some people in my course and that in itself is worth going to school for but the modules are damn tedious. I'm kinda worried that I might fail multitrack because I have no fucking idea what the lecturer is talking about most times. Who the fuck fails multitrack anyway. Production planning is fucking simple but it's sooooo boring and repetitive that it becomes a killer module. Assignments for that come in week after week and they pile up after a short while. I guess my favourite modules this sem might be Documentary Production and Film Theory.
 
Random Thoughts:
The new blogger is fucked and retarded. I prefer the old one.
 
I still cannot stand incompetence.
 
I really gotta start sleeping early and going home early after school. The main reason why I've been procrastinating so much is because every day after school, I stay back and lepak. So fucking dumb of me. MUST GO HOME NEXT TIME.
 
I want dreadlocks and I want them now. Gimme!
 
I want to record Solivagus asap.
 
I want a new song to work on.
 
My needs are so fucking simple hur hur hur. Smokes, food, water and friends to lepak with.
 
Fuck lah cannot cannot. Must do my work. MUST DO MY WORK.
 
Okay 'nuff said, my bed beckons.


Uncle Fish Clubber.

I bleed for you.

I bleed/
How long you never knew/
I seethe/
My hatred for you true/
A seed/
Alive but never used/
The deed/
A one time chance for you to use/
 
[Poff - Edicius]
 
-Written by Sal
 
This is the first time I'm listening to this track in quite a long time. I'm proud of Poff. We actually could come up with shit like this. Wow.
 
I don't feel like studying. I don't feel like talking. I don't feel like doing anything. I don't feel like writing. I don't feel. Not anymore.
 
I'm like a worn rag that has been wrung once too many times.
 
Not again.
 

The rusted frame.

The odd feeling of heartbreak.

A sense of betrayal.
 
Two heads bound by a single bullet. 
 
I wish I had never met you.

Thanks but no thanks.

I would appreciate it very much if you would just fuck off and leave my friend alone. Stop fucking with his mind you whore.
 
Thanks.
 
P.S: I don't like you.

Of clubbing fish, skinning frogs and fucked up veggie sellers.

Just finished my production. Tired like one kind.
 
Baybeats stand up for 4 hours, after that go production for 8 hours. Killer.
 
We got some pretty nice shots though, just hope that it looks okay on the Avid or I'll be so totally fucking pissed off.
 
Definition of a great crew: Wanwan Santoro Abidin, Cherie Yip Meitong, and Lim Peh.
 
Special thanks to THE mighty mighty Meitong for being our production assistant. We would be lost without you.
 
Yah and thanks to Amin for the link. This is why we can't bodysurf, which btw I think is fucking lame coz this article was written in 1992 and since then nothing's been done about the rule. What the fuck.
 
MY MOTHER LIKES AND WANTS ME TO SLAM DANCE, BODYSURF AND ENJOY MYSELF WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO RESTRICT ME?
 
Don't believe go ask my mother lah cheebye.
 
Venus butterfly was a serious disappointment. They're not at all pretty (k lah 'cept the bassist) and they're fucking irritating. Nabei waste my time. Whence He Came was fucking kickass but sigh couldn't mosh because of the production later. Pretty thankful I didn't join in the fun though, production was tiring. 
 
But then again, I love what I do.
 
Shaun and Daniel from Turn the Tap got pulled down today. Fucking lame lor. FUCK AH I THINK ABOUT IT I DAMN PEK CEKKKKK. I'll love to get hold of the monkey fucker who set that rule about slam dancing.
 
My car stinks of fish. Fuck.
 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
 
Btw, anyone got the template for proplan please send me can?

Love Me Butch - It's Over in Space.

Fucking awesome band, Love Me Butch is. Link here. Too bad their downloadable material sounds so different from the stuff they played today.
 
Fucking fucking fucking impressive. I never knew a band could sound so good live. Wow.
 
Okay anyway, I've not been updating of late because of time limitations and I don't think I will have the time nor strength to update in the near future, judging from my pile of assignments yet to be done. Woohooo.
 
I hate Singapore. Singapore's probably the only place in the world that has the police force to arrest any bodysurfer at gigs. Fucking lame.
 
I see already also depressed.
 
What the fuck is wrong with bodysurfing? How come moshing is allowed but body surfing isn't? Ah fuck it.
 
Lame country. LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME COUNTRY.
 
No wonder the other countries look down on Singapore despite us being horribly good at some stuff.
 
Tired lah I want to sleep.

Vice versa.

Do you now know what it's like losing a friend?

Do you now know what it's like to hope for the words to be taken back?

Do you now know what it's like to wish that what was said wasn't true?

Do you now know the feeling of misery?

I lost a friend that night.

This is what you fucking did to me.

I pay my debts, always.

Fuckhead.

OKAY LAH ONE PICTURE TO WHET ALL YOUR APPETITES! You guys just blew 5 minutes off me. I NEED THAT 5 MINUTES!

No time to burn.

No time to blog!

This is fucking insane! I've got no time to blog or to post pictures coz I'm trying to keep on top of things but everything's just going blah on me just because I didn't do my work for one week. What the fuck.

Ah fuck it.

Stupidity.

Presidents are all fucking stupid. I hate all kinds of presidents. As long as you have the title 'President' in front of your name, you're fucking dumb.

Just a random thought.

The heart that skips a beat.

I don't know whether any of you people feel this way but recently, my heart either skips a beat or beats an extra when I think of the people around me. The people that I've gone through so much with, the people that I've done so much stuff with, even the people whom I've just met but whom I've also done stuff with.

The last time I felt this way was about 3 years back.

I'm learning to live and love again.

The power of joy.

Lovely.

Damien Rice - Volcano

Solo artist. Haha this is definitely a first for me. But hey, I really dig the violin in this song.

Okay anyway, my thanks and appreciation to all that turned up yesterday. Honestly, I wasn't expecting so many people to come which should explain my cynism in one of my previous posts. Granted a few people whom I msged didn't even reply, but I'm pretty used to that so yeah I really really reallyyyyyyyyy appreciate you guys coming down to support.

Okay enough of the mush, lets move on to more important things. Senoko Fishing Port. Fucking hell, it really stinks over there. My car was totally not nice-smelling after the visit there. Shiiit. The worst thing that when we reached there, we weren't allowed to bring cameras in. Wan had to surrender his before the bugger at the guardhouse would let him in. Bloody hell. So we went inside and smell nearly killed us all. Went up to the office and we were told that we needed permission to film there. We were pretty okay with that until we went downstairs to take a look at the fish market itself and saw that there was totally no way we could film using a tripod because 1) it was extremely cramped, 2) the fish guys didn't give a shit about us and continued throwing fish and baskets and whatnot around even when we were in the way and 3) the equipment would definitely get wet. So basically it was a wasted trip.

After a bit of deliberation, we decided to go down to the market in Chinatown because there was simply nothing else to do and we were dead set on doing a wet market for this project. So we got in the car, drove off, and promptly got lost in Woodlands. Thank God we had Cherie with us coz us guys, we can't read road maps for nuts. Case proven with Cherie and Fuzz. Okay anyway, we finally managed to find the road to Chinatown, but not before accidentally going to Mandai Zoo and Johor's checkpoint, and we were on our way.

The wet market at Chinatown was really interesting. Reached there at about 4.30 and the stalls were only just beginning to open. Some of the people working there were pretty friendly (although I think they were only trying to cheeko Cherie but that's besides the point) and we witnessed lots of interesting stuff. Stuff like this guy clubbing a fish to total stunnage, then chopping it up while it was still alive. Heart still beating and all sial. Fucking cool.

We hung around and took loads of pictures before we finally had to leave because I had to return the car by 7.30am. Such a pity though, we were told that we would be able to see frogs being skinned alive if we hung around there till 7am++. Oh well.

Okay anyway, sent Cherie to Bukit Merah and then deposited Wan at Jurong then got lost again. Drove to Pasir Panjang and dunno where else before I finally found myself on Clementi Road. NEARLY got lost there too but thank God I found my way to Ngee Ann Poly where I could make my way back. Fucked up.

But it was a fun night nevertheless and I'm pretty much looking forward to filming the wet market this coming saturday. Pictures will be up like tomorrow because....

I fucking hate procrastination. Remind me next time not to procrastinate when it comes to school work because I can't catch up, not within one day. Actually I could but I had to deal with lethargy so didn't get much done today. At least I studied a bit for the Financial Planning test later. I didn't understand much but that's not the point. The point is that I tried. Gahh.

Yay it's gonna rain soon. Good time to smoke.

I still can't believe that YYY's father likened us to Nirvana. We sound totally different from Nirvana! But as long as the guy likes our music, I guess it's all good. Oh and please do critique us. We love having people critique us. It gives us the chance to spit in their faces and go AHHHH FUCK YOU HAHAHAHAHA.

Just kiddin. We would really like to know what you guys think of us, our music, and our onstage perfomance. That'll really help us improve.

No Fuzz, we do not need a PR person. Not now anyway heh. But thanks for your offer anyway haha.

Clubbing fish.

Exhausting day today.

Gig then wet market.

Tired.

Will post pics later.

Looks as if I've lost half my pics but I'm too tired to care.

Fuck.

Radiohead - Karma Police

Had a weird day today. I was fucking smiling and and laughing like one kind.

Fucking weird.

Sze Jia let me listen to Dashboard's Vindicated and I was impressed by the chorus. Now I know why everyone likes it. Actually, I was swept away haha. I was smiling and laughing and singing along although I don't even know the damn words. Fucking fucking fuckinggggggg weird day. Ah fuck it.

Tomorrow gig in town. First gig in town. I wonder how it'll turn out. Ah fuck it just play.

Going out for supper with green, dom, and gang. Ah fuck it.

I've used approximately 8 fucks in this post.

Ah fuck it.

9.


Co-co-co-co-co-kayne.

Happy Bird Day.

Happy 20th Bird Day to the Queen of Cheebye Hill, the red monkey fringed girl, the bola player, the one and only Jesse Chua.

No one will be able to capture our loyalties like how you did that day after your heroic rush to LT 79. We swear to you our allegience(s), and our undying love and restecp.

Yours truly,
yours truly.

The Lonely.

I'm not afraid to be alone/
I can hear my heart speaking/
It's true that the earth and the muses/
They know your name/

Poff - The Lonely.

Time for shameless self promotion.

Poff will be playing at the youthpark this saturday, 10th July 2004, at 7pm. It'll be cool if you guys could just take a bit of time out of your empty schedule to come down and listen to our songs. If you can't come or just plain don't want to, you don't have to come. We understand perfectly.

In other news, pissed off someone today because I was rude to her at SIM. To you, I offer my apologies. I swear I meant just to say hi but your reaction was so funny I just couldn't resist myself. So yah, sorry about that.

FUCK I'm really becoming an asshole. Jiat lat lah. Okay from today onwards, must censor myself.

Okay lah a bit of assery never hurt any one but not too much. I think I need to give myself a limit. I don't give a shit about what people think of me but my problem now is that I don't like me being this way. Not too much anyway.

Btw, I find this fucking cool. A Hollywood acting agency for ex-gangsters. How cool is that?!

I really fucking need to get off my arse and start doing my assignments. I'm becoming too complacent. Shiiiit. If I continue like this, I can say byebye to my grades. This semester I think I'll be quite busy, what with the organisation of Musikart '04, my schoolwork, the band, and other miscellaneous stuff. I'm going to set this sunday as my assignment completion day. Whatever assignments I have I'm going to complete on this sunday. Don't care. Fuckkkkk.

I've also been smoking A LOT more lately and I'm overspending my budget. I eat less than I smoke but I'm still overspending, not to mention that I'm actually experiencing the detrimental effects on my health. I'm losing my short term memory. I forget things damn fast. My stamina is really like fuck. Climb cheebye hill also pant. I can't breathe properly sometimes even when I'm doing something like slacking on my sofa. What the fuck right.

Been spending so much on cigarettes that I don't even have the cash to do other things. Like watch films in the theatre. Nothing beats the big screen.

Films that I really want to (re)watch:

1) My Girl. (The thai one with 6 directors)
2) Beautiful Boxer.
3) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
4) Spaideymahn Too. (Spiderman 2. Everyone I know has watched it already. Someone jio me out go watch leh!)
5) Porno. (The sequel to Trainspotting)
6) Trainspotting. (I wanna rewatch it)
7) Last Life in the Universe.
8) The Pianist. (I have this but I'm too lazy to watch it)
9) Requiem for a Dream.
10) Dogville. (Have this too but yeah lazy to watch HAHAHA)
11) Rabbit Proof Fence.
12) Jackson Pollock. (I watched it the other time but I didn't get to finish it coz the library was closing)
13) White Oleander.
14) Pi.
15) Royston Tan's The Cut.
16) Royston Tan's 15, full and uncensored version.
17) God or Dog. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLYYYYY WANT TO WATCH THIS. IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO GET IT, TAG ME OR SMS ME OR MSG ME OR WHATEVER I'LL FUCKING KILL TO WATCH THIS FILM!!!!!!!!!!! It's locally made by the way. FUCKKKKK!!!!!!)
18) Other British films.

I think British films are damn cool. Their urban scenery is so fucking nice. Killer. The accents also damn cool hahaha. I watched Withnail and I yesterday and although a bit too slowpaced at times, I got some really good ideas for my script from there.

Oh and yah one more thing, congrats to s'ling for grabbing first position academically. You deserve it. If you ever read this that is. But I think you do. You sneaky blog surfer you.

Okay I think I've rambled on for quite a bit so I shall stop here. Not because for fear of boring you guys, I could hardly give a shit about that, just that I'm tired and I need to sleep.

Good night.

Imma asshole.

Yep it's confirmed. I have offcially become an asshole. The biggest dickhead in my history as a dickhead.

I have perfected the knack of pissing people off. Hell, I even piss people off even when I don't want to!

I guess I just can't be bothered anymore.

In other news, I don't hate pro plan anymore. Now I just merely dislike it. Fuck lah I need more motivation. CHEEBYE. I think I used up all my motivation in year 1. Hah.

You're a fucking eyesore. Stop trying to act pretty, it's not fucking working. I get nauseous everytime I look at you. Yuk. You're fugly, you're incompetent, and you act cute too much. Urgh.

I wonder how the fuck am I gonna survive this year.

TAKBOLEH TAHAN!

Yah my assery has gone to the next level. I now own as the world's biggest asshole. Ole.

Ehhhhh...?

I.fucking.hate.pro.plan.

I.fucking.hate.paper.work.

An idea of a script is playing around in my head. Hmmm. I think I'm going to get it soon, that is, if I actually can be bothered to sit down and try to come up with the meaty parts.

Ah lazy to blog ah. Stupid pro plan. I fucking hate it.

Kill more kittens!

I just love stuff like this. Hey so what if I'm crude? I don't give a shit.

Pro plan time. How fun.

Hidup FSV part 2.

I brought my camera to school today. Actual purpose was to waste the battery coz it's gonna be in storage for about a week and we all know that letting batteries discharge by itself will fuck up the battery life. So I decided to have some fun with it.

This one's to all you guys. Restecp.

Btw these shots were taken courtesy of Anaiz, Wan and Sri and me.

Fuck lah just see can already. Kaopei kaobu so much. Nin nao hia.


Introducinggggg, Ryan and Tristan. Tristan's the one with the bun, uh used-to-be-a-bun bun.

Anaiz viewed from afar.

Wanwan Santoro Abidin.

The reason why we all love music so damn much.

Does this remind you of the Esplanade?

Anaiz and Wan looking sad and pissed off respectively.

Emo.

Cheggout that flame. Killer lighter.

From left, Ryan, Tristan and Sri. Sri's testing out Jimmy's FM 2.

This is John.

This is the Jimmy.

Teh peng and rokok!

Lepak :D

What we do when we're really bored.

Pradeep and Faz.

Ryan and (This is) John.

Lala Humzah (aka Faz) and Jave. Faz acting cool only hahaha.

Sri and Hani, the FSV reserve roflmao.


I would have taken more pictures but today was IS day and not many people were around. Fucking wasted. Sian.

Okay I go take a nap. Fuckinggggg tired. Good night.

Oh and one more thing. If you think I'm a fucking bastard, insensitive fuckhead, and a total imbecile, you're probably right. But I don't care what you think. I've cared about what people thought about me for long enough and I figured out that it didn't make much sense to change just because they want me to. To all you motherfuckers, sod off. I call it as I see it and I say what I want.

Retarded pieces of shit.

Poff am teh pwnz0r j00!

Yay. I had fun today. For the very first time in the whole history Poff's gigging career, I actually had fun. I finally conquered my stage fright wooohooo! Fuck it just play, and I did! Hahaha.

But unfortunately we had some technical faults with the guitars. Wasted like 5 minutes onstage trying to tune a guitar that just suddenly went out of tune. That part fucked up but it's not Weiliang's fault and I guess as live musicians we've got to learn from our mistakes. Henceforth, we'll be bringing an extra guitar to all our live sets so as to not waste time with fucked up technical stuff. Just plug in the extra and play. Rawr.

Mervyn was really great today. His showmanship really improved a lot. Fucking staring at the audience like one kind wahahaha. Head bang until cap drop off; copy TTT Daniel only eh? But it's all goooood.

What's most significant about this gig is that we've started to really improve as a band. Wait, let me rephrase that - Our new songs affected the audience more than our old songs ever did. Which means only one thing.

We have hit it on the head. Cracked it at last. The winning formula. Yay.

Thank God we decided to scrap the old songs. I cannot bear thinking about keeping them, don't even talk bout recording them. Yechhh.

Okay here are the peekchures (word borrowed from Denise. HAH! Lets see someone accuse me of plagiarism now!).


Pre-gig.

This picture nice sial. Content not nice but composition nice. Could have been a bit tighter though.

The Sound Guy.

Dom getting owned by baby.

We am teh POFF.

Dom again.

OMG IT'S THE GHOST OF LENIN!

Me. Who else?

Green acting all emo during The Lonely hur hur hur.

Niceeeee.

Cheggout the sweat.


Post gig.


From left, Hayley, Mervyn, and the disturbance in the force.

From right, Green, Miguel, Johnathan, and the guy whose name I didn't get. :/
<
Presentingggg, the twins. From left, Nigel and Miguel. Cheggout Nigel's smile. Kanina humsup like one kind.

Poff am teh pwnz0r j00.

I really gotta start sleeping early and doing my work.

Prioritise, prioritise, prioritise!

Later.

P.S: Oh yes one more thing. ALL pictures other than post gig ones were taken by Nigel. Poff thanks him for being one of their many official photographers. Heh.

Corgan.

Just so that you know,

Zwan broke up and Corgan's a sports commentator now.

So fucked up right?!

Why can't he just reform SP kanina.

Hidup FSV.

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it"

Excerpt from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

I believe in Manson and Corgan. Live life like how they sing their songs and you'll never go wrong. At least, I don't think you'll fuck up.

It's destiny/
Pure lunacy/
Incalculable/
Insufferable/
Smashing Pumpkins - Stand inside your love.

Life sucks when you can't see what's in front of you. You're wandering in the dark, hands outstretched and feeling the blackness and suddenly, fwoosh, your hands get amputated by a chainsaw. And when you're stumbling around in the dark, screaming in anguish, you fall into an abyss that's just right in front of you. You fall and fall, then you realise that there may be no bottom to this crack. Then you start wondering when you'll hit the ground.

You go insane finally.

That's exactly how I'm feeling about tomorrow's gig. Fuck lah.

Nila hidup aku.

You're the biggest joke I've ever come across in a long while.

Politics. Tsk.

How fun.

Disclaimer: What I say here is what I've observed when working with all of you. I will not make any unjust assertions and neither will I censor myself. This post is not about me but about some of you. I won't even be wasting my time typing this if not forced by circumstance coz I was already ready to forget it and move on. I have my own life outside of school, you know.

To sim,
I've got to admit that I was pretty cheesed at you becoming president. I found Fuzz to be a far more efficient worker than you are when we were all working together for the orientation. She has excellent leadership qualities and I know that I can trust her to do something and do it well. If you remember, no one gave any of us any official roles for the committee but how come she rose up to the occasion to lead us all? Because of that, I accord her great respect. If you say that nobody wanted her to lead us then why didn't anyone stand up and tell her that? Was it because no one dared? If it's so then why? Nobody's gonna beat anybody up for veto-ing Fuzz.

Speaking of which. I did hear a lot of backstabbing and bitching going on with your committee. I was there during the trial run of treasure hunt and I did hear stuff from certain people (whose names I shan't mention but they know who they are. SHIVER IN YOUR UNDERWEAR!). I also know that you refused to hold the trial run before the final meeting (with the lecturers). You were far too complacent about it and that was a major part of the orientation program. How do you expect me to trust someone like that? Oh and one more thing. If you thought that it was Van or Fuzz who called Nick to get all of you to come down then sorry ah, it was me :D I heard you guys complaining and complaining about something which had to be done. You expect me to trust you with doing other important stuff if you can't even handle such a simple thing without complaining? Heh not a chance.

On orientation day itself, who was the one running around, making sure that everything was running smoothly? Fuzz. Who was the one worrying, liaising with the committee and making sure that everything was running smoothly? Fuzz. Who was in the video crew? Fuzz. Who typed out the contact list and sent out emails to everyone? Fuzz. Who oversaw the whole orientation? Fuzz. Eh whatever you can come up with, Fuzz did it. With the exception of the scavenger hunt, Fuzz helped out in almost everything. The only thing she didn't help out with was the scavenger hunt and the FMS family thing. And even that was because it was her birthday and Sashi herself told Fuzz she didn't have to come. You only had the scavenger hunt to plan and you left it to nearly the last minute. Maybe I ought to refresh your memory.

sim: sorry if i sound so bossy but im getting frantic here! erm, wilson and nicholas: havent been in contact with them. they havent told me their ideas and stuff! pulling my hair out here!

sim: OKay! ive got connection. I would like the treasure hunt ppl to go to sch on Friday as well..can? please?

This was typed in the FMSFOC tagboard on Wednesday if I'm not wrong.

Friday was video production day for the video crew. We already did our pre-production work a few days before. You guys haven't even started. We were due to meet with the lecturers the very next friday with our gameplan for the day. And btw, if I'm not wrong, isn't a person with leadership qualities supposed to stay calm during crises? Hah best thing is that that wasn't even a crisis.

Oh and about the voting,

'Democratic' voting my ass. The ex comm members have never worked with us before, only Sashi and Jinfei. Wah suddenly they know who can lead better ah? Eh psychic is it? Bollocks. The other people voted because of friendship and personal preference. I don't think any of them voted on efficiency level. 11 people my ass. None of their votes really count in my opinion.

Fuzz CAN be a hardcore bitch but at least she gets the job done. I trust her implicitly.

Joke of the century lah this one.

Ah fuck it lah. I'm FSV what. MCM politics I also don't care. I only typed all these down because YOU wanted to know. Now that you know, will you give it a rest already? I have absolutely no interest in serving in the committee if it's going to be run by people who complain, complain and complain more. Sorry ah I've got much better things to do.

Yeah you heard me. I quit either way. Working with you guys have killed my brain cells. HAHAHAHA. Enough lah. Don't play already lah.

Your actions prove yourself not suitable for the job. What do you have to say in your defence? You can't deny that Fuzz did all those coz she did and there's proof. Hah. Please tell me what you did and why the hell should I vote for you when you haven't shown what you can do other than whine a lot.

Rawr.

P.S: Yes in case you haven't noticed, I don't mince my words.

Sleep, where art thou?

I'm becoming awfully critical about people nowadays. I feel myself becoming more and more unbearable, more and more arrogant. I don't know whether this is a good or bad thing.

But the hardest thing is that people just give me so much reason for me to NOT treat them right.

I really don't feel like posting anything tonight. It just doesn't feel right anymore. I guess I've got to work harder at becoming less critical of others and more of myself.

I feel sorry for Saddam Hussein because of the fact that his fate lies in the hands of his enemies. Definitely not my favourite position to be in. I wish I could take his pain away. He may be a bastard but I just can't seem to help feeling sorry for him.

Here's a real twisted question:
Who's more cool? Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Hitler, or Mussolini?

I choose Hitler :D

I swear if they hand over Hussein to the new Iraq gah'men, even if he gets sentenced to death, the person dying won't be him. The Iraqis will probably find someone to take the fall and pass him off as Saddam. Saddam will appear 10 years later, swearing vengeance on America and actually having the means to do it this time. It's gonna be an uber bad move, handing Saddam over.

And what's with the beheading bit? Since when did the Quoran say killing people will get you to heaven, not to even mention beheading them while they're still alive. If I had one wish, I'd wish I had the abilities and powers of Superman for 3 weeks and then I'll go into Iraq to get myself captured by those lame pieces of shit. After that, I'll let them try to behead me but HAH, I'm indestructible. And after their failed attempt, I'll break loose, tie them up, and behead each of them slowly. With a power saw.

Must be the lack of sleep talking.

Zzzz.

Insomniac.

It's happened again. I couldn't fall asleep. It was really amazing that I survived Production Planning coz it was totally boring this shit out of me. Try not sleeping for one night and then go to a 3 hour tutorial class dealing with paperwork and corporate bull, then you'll know how I felt. Sigh.

Don't even think of asking why I couldn't sleep. -mutters- I need some time to get over the disappointment.

Gah.

Gig this sunday. I'm not sure whether I'm ready for it yet. The drum parts of the new song hasn't really gotten into my head yet and I'm afraid that I'll fuck up. I know that I keep on saying fuck it and go play but it's an innate fear within me. It's been an ongoing thing since like forever. Ah fuck it just go play. Don't think, just play.

By golly, I really hope I can pull this one off.

Aiight enough of the tension. Here are two people with fucked up names for you to laugh your balls off at. Let us all welcome, Chew Shit Fu and Gaye Males!

And I thought my name was bad -sniggers-

Hey I'm not being mean. You've got to admit that it's funny heh.

In other news, did anyone notice that Blink 182 seems to have lost their mojo for performing gigs lately? I mean if you've been keeping up with them, downloading their live vids and whatnot (only because of Travis heh), both Mark and Tom seem to smile less often and they move around the stage more slowly. Compare that to Blink a year ago and there's a world of a difference. Travis is just as intense on his drumkit so I don't think there's much change in his performing attitude. I think they've finally gotten sick of being rockstars heh.

Okay so maybe I'm the only one who noticed.

I'm smoking a lot more nowadays. Like 15 sticks every day. Fucking hell at this rate I'm gonna die of lung cancer before I'm 35. Gotta cut down on my nicotine intake. But I swear there's nothing more therapeutic than sitting down, smoking and talking cock with a bunch of friends.

I figured out that supporting myself is easy. I survive on 50 bucks on a weekly basis. I don't have much needs. The last time I bought something for myself was uhm quite a few months back. Now I'm in need of new drum sticks. But I've got no cash to buy. Fuck. I need two pairs at least coz my current ones are gonna snap any time now. I've already bound them with masking tape so they'll hold for like 1 or 2 more jam sessions but I don't think they can last till gig time. I need at least 30 bucks. Anyone wanna donate 30 bucks to me?

Btw, my heartfelt thanks to Green for getting me a pair but unfortunately, I really can't use it coz it's wayyyy too thick. it's almost twice as thick as my current pair. But it's the thought that counts so thanks anyway.

Which reminds me. Mervyn's birthday is on friday, which is in 1 day's time and I haven't thought of what to get him yet. Was initially thinking to pool some money together with the guys and get him the bass pedal that he wanted but unfortunately those dicks have already gotten him his presents already. Urgh. Now I have to think of something else. Weiliang and Dom already settled their bit already and now I'm the only one that hasn't gotten something for him yet.

I could fly in the face of convention and say 'So what if everyone is giving him something?! I'm gonna be different and not give him anything so HAH' but unfortunately I haven't sunk into that depth of bastardom yet so I guess I'll still have to get him something.

Oh man.

This totally blows.

Furthermore, I don't think I've got enough budget to jam so many times this week to prepare for the gig on sunday, go out with the people on friday, get Mervyn a present, get new drum sticks and get a pack of cigarettes coz the pack which I bought last night just ran out. Fuck.

Expenses, expenses and more expenses.

ARGGGGHHHH.

There's got to be more to life than this.