Souljah!

Ever felt that time's just dragging you along as it goes by, and you're struggling to stay put and not move from your current position? Then before you know it, it's tuesday but your brain's still stuck in sunday.

Fuck.

Oh yes, the unnecessary drama. Now I remember why that shit didn't work out.

Went for NS med check up and according to one of the people there, I'm a 'healthy young male'. As a result of me being a 'healthy young male', I'm in PES A.

FUCK.

All these years of smoking, eating junk food, not exercising, drinking, ALL GONE TO WASTE! I got fucking PES A. WTF. That's not right! I should be an unhealthy young male who gets thrown into PES C or D because of my lifestyle! Then I can relaccc one corner instead of chionging. NNB.

Fuck la wasted effort. SIAN.

Rock!

I believe that some people are just on put on solely to aggravate me with their act-smart talk. But it's okay, because whenever I get pissed off, I turn to Rockson to cheer me up.

Haha who needs Dick Chan now that I've got Rockson roflmao.

Vote for Pedro!

I've just rewatched Napoleon Dynamite for about the 4th time. I love that film haha. Damn anti-heroes.

I've got this feeling that I'm gonna crash and burn very soon, probably in a week when my shoot actually starts. This is probably the last time I'll ever do a film involving art. I fucking hate art.

This hatred stems from my secondary school years when the art teacher would make all of us kids who didn't bring their art block stand outside the classroom. He would be smirking at us, head cocked to one side (no kidding, he was born that way). Not that we gave a shit of course, not until the principle came round during one of her frequent patrols about the school. Then we'd all shut up and stand still, hoping not to get singled out.

Nice-looking man with a kind face and a fucked up neck, but evil and malicious deep inside. That's my art teacher.

That fucking bastard, I hope he dies.

On a more positive note, I got back my bnw photos I took for class and hmmm the printing and reprinting really paid off. Got full marks for the final project hur hur hur. Subject matter's not very interesting but fuck it, they got me what I wanted.

I suddenly feel like an extreme loser, what with my current lifestyle. Broke as fuck, an aversion to clubbing, a preference for film and books but not television, no love life, hardly any social life, a penchant for gaming, and all the time getting shortchanged by life in general.

This is getting depressing. I would really love to live someone else's life for one day, just to know what everything else is all about. I really really really wouldn't mind.

Remember, Pedro offers you his protection so VOTE FOR PEDRO!

Lamb

auralorgasm:: Lamb - Gabriel

I'm stuck at home listening to Lamb while it's all thundery and rainy outside. Not that it's a bad thingl; I've got no cash to go out anyway. Sigh.

The post below was an observation, not a declaration! Of course I will still continue taking pictures, it's just that I've been feeling uninspired and fuck-care of late.

I haven't taken anything for an entire semester already, probably because of my black and white photog class in school. I'll post those pictures up when I actually get them back. Speaking of which, I hope the school hasn't thrown them away or done anything stupid with them. After all, they did send me an email telling me to go get them before 23rd of sept. Shite.

I've been having really weird dreams of late, both of which revolved around Cambodia...somewhat. I won't elaborate coz it'll take too much time but let's just say that now I really know what it feels like to know that you're gonna die and you can't do anything about it.

The second dream revolved around a trip and some people whom I've not seen for a long time. It was peaceful and felt just right.

Watched Sideways recently. Liked it okay enough. Didn't like it as much as I thought I would but it's cool.

Okay bye.

End.

I have stopped taking pictures.

3.9% fuckarse.

Alcohol is poison, and don't believe anybody that tells you otherwise.

No I don't like to drink, except on occasions when I feel like fucking up my head.

I don't get how people can say 'let's go drinking' or 'hey let's have a beer' or be proud of the fact that they've spent the whole night boozing and then ending up wasted.

It's a fact. Alcohol tastes horrible, makes you feel like shit, is probably gonna destroy your liver plus maybe three quarters of your braincells, and the funny thing is that people still drink.

Why?

Human beings are just fucking stupid, aren't we?

All this coming from a smoker. Hah.

But I still believe in the evils of alcohol.

Simbenia

I think the mother of all bad days is happening to me right now even when I'm staying at home, sitting on my sofa, not doing anything at all.

To top it all off, I found this blog which I think would be an extremely engaging read, if not for the fact that it's all in spanish and I don't know the fucking language.

I want to be cheered up so bad. Sigh.

Blogging

I just can't stand the sheer number of articles that are warning us of the legal dangers of blogging.

Fuck you all bastards, sue me if you want.

There is something vaguely wrong about bloggers like Xiaxue invited to speak at the Singapore Writer's Festival. I can't place my finger on it but I have this strong feeling that if Oscar Wilde or Shakespeare knew about this, they'll be doing somersaults in their graves.

Either that or laughing their asses off in hell.

Oops, I just condemned Oscar Wilde and Shakespeare to hell. Shit ah, later they sue me how?

Heh. Screwballs.

Sian.

The war between Google and Microsoft is always a constant source of amusement. No matter how fucked up my day has been, I always cheer up when I log in to check both my hotmail and my gmail accounts at night. I tend to smile a little to think how pathetic hotmail is compared to gmail.

25mb vs 1gig of storage. Haha.

I really can't wait to graduate. Throughout my 3 years of NPfsv, the school has managed to shortchange me time and time again. I absolutely loathe being treated as a second class when I know I'm not. It's... just disgusting.

My biggest gripe is still the attachment issue. I can't get over it. Gah. One major opportunity to make contacts in the industry lost. Bah.

Okay enough said. Saying so much won't make a difference.

Zzzz. Sian.

Eurotrip!

Watched Eurotrip last night and it was shit goooood. Methanks to Khalil for lending it to me.

The film-makers pulled out all the stops in making this film. Everything tasteless went in so powerfully that it became so fucking tasty, if you get what I mean.

Sex in a cathedral, a little german boy pulling off a hitler trick, a young girl pissing on the streets, butts, boobs, penises.

Hahaha it's quite amazing.

But it's a typical dumb comedy, don't expect too much outta it. Acting's a bit stiff too, but you get used to that.

Extremely busy nowadays dealing with pre-pro for Travel On but it's all good and I'm still keeping it together. Hmmm.

From 1st October, Singapore will ban smoking at almost all public areas, coffeeshops, bus-stops, swimming pools, yada yada yada. Next year July, they're gonna ban smoking in clubs and pubs. The future's looking pretty bleak :(

Shut up all you non-smokers. I hope you all get lung cancer anyway.

I'm feeling kinda stoned now. Zzzz.

The Violent Suburbia

Who needs love when you've got a gun?

Rawr

Since the onus is on me to pull this one through, then I have no choice but to bear with this shit.

Sometimes, I feel as though I'm the loneliest person alive although I'm surrounded by people. Having to slug it out in this stupid little fucking world is pissing me off big time. It's not so much the necessary effort than it is the wasted effort that's doing me in.

But I know, one day, this will all pay off. Even if I have to wait 30 years, I swear I'll do it.

Rawr.

_|_

I'm currenly having a hugeass streak of bad luck.

Really rotten week.

I can't wait for graduation. No more of this fucking stinking bullshit. No more excuses. No more.

I'm sick of it all.

I R FUCKING HUNGRY

I'm hungry and I feel like eating bak chor mee. Either that or a cheese prata. I hate the world the world sucks society stinks I wish I was dead.

Gah how coherent.

I WANT TO FUCKING EAT THE WORLD.

My life is like the medieval China life with all the troubles and without the gongfu to deal with the baddies. Fucking hell.

I R FUCKING HUNGRY.

No wait, kuey chup. How's that sound?

Wah fuck lah I just want to eat everything.

Look what you've done.

What happens in the editing room after 7 hours of editing:


Mat-Rock Boy versus the world. In the background: Metalhead, Bionic Girl, and Stripe-stripe.

The Longest Yard.

Watched The Longest Yard yesterday night and it was quite good. I mean, I liked it. The suspense in the movie kills lol.

I don't really feel like blogging much but tomorrow's the day where some of the spec shoots start so good luck to the guys who are shooting later on. Hope things don't fuck up too bad for you people.

***

I'm tired of fighting la. If you want to stand alone and be brave and gungho and all that bullshit, just go ahead la. If you want to lose your friends in the process, go ahead too. You've already lost them once, why do it again?

Personally I've learnt my lesson, that's why I tempered down my temper (forgive the pun hur hur). I only wish that you wouldn't get carried away with this army bullshit and leave all the people whom you know behind.

Ambition is a good thing but what's the use of success if you end up alone?

I think I've said enough and I've also probably offended you but I think it's worth the risk.

And all those just trying to play their part
Don't wanna fight no more
And all those who own a human heart
Don't wanna fight no more
But there's no profit in what you want
So we must fight some more

Ocean Colour Scene - Profit in Peace

Euphoria

auralorgasm:: Dido - Take my hand

I woke up this morning feeling extremely stoned and numb, having slept only an hour before. Managed to get myself to school and light a cigarette before being struck by a most wonderful feeling that everything's going to be alright.

I have no idea how to put it into words but uhm ahhh.

Okay. Like you know how I used to say there's nothing better than to listen to Smashing Pumpkins on a cold and windy morning right? Yeah I've found something much better - to listen to Dido when it's a cold, windy, and rainy morning. For the first time in a long while, I really felt damn good, damn stoned out and just damn buddhalike.

I was floating in my own mind, the nicotine kicking in my sleep-deprived brain so hard that my lips went numb. My body didn't feel like my own and strange as it may seem, Dido's voice was my soul.

It was such a blissful state to be in, that I thought I touched God for a moment. Seeing the rain spill over the shelter I was under just made the moment seem more intense, but yet so much more surreal.

I don't know what triggered it but damn it felt good.

Lasted for only few minutes though, till I found out that the fucking computer lab was closed and there was no way I could print my due assignment.

C'est la vie.

School's officially over but my project's still in edit. Sigh. Managed to psyche myself into the mood to concentrate on specialist though. Should be a good thing.

I guess hope is the only thing that keeps me going, no matter what happens. There have been some really scary periods in my life where I saw no hope in whatever I did, in however I lived. That was some fucked up shit. Had no choice but to autopilot myself out. Didn't get out unbruised, but at least I survived.

I think I'll remember what happened this morning for a long time to come. The closest I ever came to this was quite a few years back.

But I touched God this morning.

Metaphorically of course.

But still it felt brill.

:D

Playing games till 4.22am in the morning although I gotta wake up at 6.30 later on makes me feel fuckingggggg liberated.

I think I'm gonna pay the price later though. Got a longass day in front of me. Sian ah.

But I don't care.

Never intended to hurt.

I hope and pray that I've not made the biggest mistake of my life.

Life really won't be worth living if I did.

Sigh. Please. Just not this one.

Asshat.

I think some motherfucker's trying to divert my gmail account to his/her own account and send mails from there using my account. Fortunately for me, the gmail verification system kicked in when the idiot in question tried to do the divert. Luckily, he/she logged out before gmail sent the verification mail back into my inbox so he/she couldn't authorise the divert. I think it happened when I didn't sign out of my account when I was using the com in some public place.

To put it simply in local context, wah sibei heng ah.

And unfortunately for that bastard, the gmail verification mail bore the email which he/she tried to divert my account to.

Behold - cuddlycondom@gmail.com

If anybody recognises this email, please do tell me. I just want to find out which asswipe it is.

And of course if this happens to be my own fault and it's all just a big huge enormous misunderstanding, then yeah, my apology. But otherwise,

:D

*I think my english is fucking up again. Sigh. It'll be worse after I enlist, I betcha.

Doodoodoo.

I fucking hate reading blogs that reveal twists in films. I just had someone totally ruin "The Maid" for me. Not that I was planning to go watch it of course, since I'm not a big fan of horror (support local productions!) BUT STILL!

And it was just a innocuous post in the middle of many other dated entries. And like the moron that I was, I read it. And reread it. And did a doubletake. And groaned.

Please for everyone's sake DON'T FUCKIN DO SPOILERS IN YOUR BLOGS! At least warn the reader! It's not fair to both the film-maker and the audience, not to mention it makes you look like a bloody fool.

I feel extremely agitated. I think I shall go for a drive since there's nothing to do at home. And like any other foolhardy youth, get into a street race and a bout of roadrage and have an accident that'll most likely leave me either dead or paralysed from the neck down for the rest of my life.

Okay scrap the last sentence.

Petrol prices are getting crazier and crazier. 95 costs like $1.6/litre. That's more than the price of v-power 3 months back wtf. Can't wait till I get my bike license hahaha.

Okay time to expose my inner geekiness :X

New MMORPG coming out! RFOnline, some PK based MMO with 3 races (human, cyborg, and some stupid elf-like race) all striving to annilihate each other in order to control some mine thingamajig.

Whatever.

Anyway, it's been a damned long time since I've played anything good so yeah kinda looking forward to this one. Best part is that its release is after my specialist production hahaha. SHIIOOOOOOOOOOOOK ONLYYY w00t.

Damn I love PvP games lol.

Most of my modules for this sem are over, other than advanced film production on friday so once I've gone past that, I can (literally) let my hair down and concentrate on the specialist shoot. Kinda looking forward to it. Gonna be pretty fucked up I bet. Yessss.

I think I'm gonna stop watching films for a bit, stop doing work for a long while, and just chill out and take life as it comes. Like you know, doing the normal things like uhm going out to slack and uhm eating fast food for lunch everyday and uhm watching tv and being entertained by the crappy programmes that are on and uhh...?? I dunno, whatever normal things that people do.

Which also means I'll get bored really quick.

FUCK LAAAAA.