S.O.S

The amount of times I've tried (and failed) to be a nicer and better person has only been outnumbered by the times I've tried (and still failing) to quit smoking.

I'm currently burning up 20+ sticks a day. That's extremely fucked up. But with long breaks and fucked up lecturers, I can't fight the urge. I'm trying for 5 sticks tomorrow. 4 hour break, so it shouldn't be that bad.

And if it is then I'm fucked.

Work is piling and piling and piling up and I can't do most of it because I don't even fucking understand what the bloody lecturers are talking about. It could have been so simple, write a script or write a term paper, or whatever but they just had to blow it all up and tell us to 'write two letters in the form of a script about the same person in different times, in the now and in the past' (or some shit like that) and 'okay when you do your term paper I want two inches of spacing here if not I'll minus your marks and oh, you'll have to do a proposal for your paper outlining what you're going to write about'.

What the fuck. A proposal for an essay?! A thesis statement yes but a PROPOSAL!?!

I don't know how I'm going to survive this semester. Ds, here I come!

I would probably write something more intelligent but I think I'm becoming stupid. I catch myself doing and saying the dumbest things at the weirdest of times. Pretty damn fucked up.

Oh well, everyone must become dumb one day so uhh, why not now?

Watching two really orgasmic films in a day can be wonderfully cathartic. First one was Musa the Warrior, this Korean period flick about Mongolians, Koreans, Huns, and if I'm not wrong, Manchurians. There was even an indian inside it. Lots and lots of war violence and blood. I liiiiiiiiiike. Made me proud to be asian anyway. Cinematography was awesome.

Come to think of it, I'll rather be fighting with spears and swords than with guns and more guns. It's so much more fun that way. Well, at least it looks fun, people going 'AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH' and 'KILL KILL KILL' and screaming other equally nice things while charging at the enemy who is most likely to be coincidentally (does this phrase even make sense?) screaming something similar.

Ahhh, can you feel the love in the air?

I haven't finished Chen Kai Ge's Farewell, My Concubine but I'm halfway through and I'm enjoying myself hugely so far. Bloody library chased me out before I could finish it. Will finish it tomorrow so I'll see how it goes.

I really love watching films like these. Drags me out of my seat and into the film itself. Wonderful.

Argh, gonna watch Ichi the Killer tomorrow during Regional Cinema. I don't know whether I'll be able to stomache it. I don't have much of a tolerance for horror or gore.

Which reminds me of the time where this girl wanted me to watch Dark Water with her because she was scared and I ended up hiding behind her most times but that's another story for another day.

Bye.