I take back all I said about the company I'm currently being attached too, because it was stupid and immature for me to say that.
No, I didn't get caught or confronted by any authority. I've realised how dumb I was to post that. 3 days into the job and I get fucked up? Hah. Low level of tolerance. Handling the cam in this line is not easy at all. It was pretty naive of me to say what I did and I admit that. So yeah.
There are always things to learn and although sometimes you might feel as if you have no need to learn some stuff, you never know when it might come in handy. I've learnt quite a bit in the first 5 days of my attachment and I am absolutely grateful that I was attached to this company. Shooting kindergarten concerts might be boring and tedious at first but once you get into it, you'll realise that it really takes skill.
My boss told me just now that if there's any jobs for the company after my internship is over, he might give me a call so that I can help shoot and earn some cash. Contact established.
I was talking to him just now when he was driving me back after shoot and I told him I wasn't planning to get married or have children. I have no idea how the subject came up but he told me something which really touched me. He said, "I'm already so old and my kids are still so young. I don't know what will happen to me in the future but for now, it's really something for me to come home and have my kids greet me 'Papa'. I don't want to think about the future; for now, I'm happy and that's all that matters.
You're still young so maybe you won't know the feeling but when you grow older, you'll realise that if you don't have children, your life is meaningless."
Roughly translated from chinese to english. (My chinese is getting much better hahaha.)
It really makes a lot of sense but the thing is, although I, just like any other guy, long for female companionship, I know myself too well to trust myself. I have the tendency to fuck things up in relationships because I find it extremely difficult to accept character flaws in people. I know I'm not perfect but I don't believe that people can change, which is why I find it so hard to forgive and impossible to forget. Thankfully it's getting better but I still don't trust myself enough. And I suggest for the good of your mental health, don't trust me when it comes to shit like this. I.will.fuck.up.
Fact of life, no changing it. Plus I really like to do work (I think I'm a workaholic) so in the face of work-to-be-done, everything else takes a step down the priority ladder.
Lust however, is a totally different matter. I really dig girls heh heh heh. K stop.
Wisdom is not being a smartass. Wisdom is maturity and the willingness to shut up, listen and learn. Being wise is not hard, it just takes a hell lot of effort (and a shitload of tolerance). I thought that my ITP was shit but really, it's not. I just had to stop being a bitchin' smartass and just shut the fuck up and listen. And I did. And I started to learn. Haha. I dig learning.
Oh btw, happy birthday. This year, I'm not gonna give you a present in a physical form but rather in the form of some good shit advice. And as usual, my birthday present to you is practical and reliable. Read it (coz I know you're reading this, duh. I'm not dumb) but you don't have to follow it. It's your life, not mine. Anyway, here goes:
Friendships and politics don't mix. Never fuck around with friends like you do with politics.
And as a bonus:
Don't trust, rely, or depend on some people too much, even though they may seem close to you. When the shit hits the fan, you're on your own. Learn from my lesson.
Good luck. You'll need it.
Anyway, I have to work saturday and sunday but I'll have a break on monday. I feel like doing something, for once with somebody instead of alone. Note: I don't do groups. GROUPTHINK is something to be wary of. Hur, I learnt something from social psychology. Not bad.
I feel old.