Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Imma bored phuck.

My body clock's been readjusting itself for mebbe 2 months now. Two days back I was sleeping at 8am and waking at 12pm for school. Two days later I'm sleeping at 9pm and waking at 4am. And I'm bored shitless.

Lock, stock and two smoking barrels was entertaining but I still prefer Snatch. Guy Ritchie's a genius when it comes to scripts like these. Can't wait to watch Revolver though I heard it got seriously fucked reviews.

Jason Stathem is seriously one of the coolest actors everrrrrrrrrr. Just love the way he sneers.

This sat, KING KONG! Either that or Chicken Little. Haha. Broke.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Das Experiment.

Attempted to climb a wall, succeeded.

Attempted to get down from the same wall, failed.

And now I've got two sprained wrists haha.

Watched this german flick called Das Experiment and it was damn good. Lazy to elaborate but do watch it if you've got a chance to.

Got home early today from school and got nothing I can do at home. Zzzz.

Thank God Taufiq lent me a copy of Lock, stock and two smoking barrels hahaha.

Monday, November 28, 2005


"Evolve, Monstar, show me the things I never wanted done.
Evolve, Monstar, do to me the things I never wanted done...

[Coheed and Cambria - Everything Evil]

Saturday, November 26, 2005

NP Parkour

Parkour was such a joy today though I ended up with both my ankles screwed and abrasions all over.


Today was a day of improvement. Finally managed to do a dash vault then after that, a kash over the length of the table. WAHH STEAM.

I'm dead tired.

I think I'm fucked coz I haven't done my ethical dilemmas assignment yet and I think it's already overdue. Oops.


Thursday, November 24, 2005

Wake up.

Can't sleep. Past coming back to haunt me again.

I hate my inability to stay in relationships.

In a phrase to cut these lips...

Of Monstar and Commando school.

Wah. Wah. I really


Until cannot


WTF COMMANDO?! I got fucking called up for some vocational assignment shit then when I called them to ask them what's it all about, they dropped the bomb and told me it's commando selection. I'm gonna fucking put a jihad on them.

I'm not commando material. I'm more like, lepak sergeant material. Nnb. I'm gonna fail every test they give me I swear.

On a brighter note, my bike's coming tomorrow. Phantom TA200! Ryddah! Can't wait.

I christen thee MONSTAR.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


In trying to get myself out of this hopeless funk I've sunk into, I've...

1) Tried to memorise numa numa's lyrics in hopes of first wowing people then when they get sick of it, pissing them off by singing it repeatedly. Failed. I'm not cut out for romania.

2) Surfed through half the Cobalt and Calcium site, therefore discovering loads of shit about Coheed and Cambria which I really didn't have to know but is interesting anyway.

3) Watched the whole series of Xombie.

4) Blockhead too. Now I aspire to be him.


Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The weewee.

I've been shitting so beautifully these past few days that I can almost describe it as poetic.

I've achieved excellence in the art of defecation. I'm producing LOGS, not PIECES. I'm so proud of myself.

As you can see, I've got nothing better to talk about other than asinine topics. It's only a matter of time before I degenerate into something that ranks only slightly higher up than 'amoebae' on the evolutionary ladder.

I'm looking forward to that ^^



Monday, November 21, 2005


I'm proud not to be avant-garde.

Fuck art.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Kill anyone for you.

Wah, so many mistakes. So many many many mistakes.

How the fuck did I do them all?!

I don't know what to say about the new Harry Potter film coz although the CG was awesome, to say that they rushed through the story is an understatement. The only thing I truly enjoyed was the acting of the fella playing Voldemort. It was sweeeeet. Perfect!

Other than that, it wasn't anything impressive.


I've lost all drive for everything and anything to do with school. I skipped class for the first time in 3 years coz I really couldn't bring myself to go. Never felt so disheartened before.

Yeah, I know it's only a few months more to graduation but I've lost it. I don't feel like wasting another few months of my life listening to lecturers that don't give a shit, doing things that are just a repeat of what I've done for the past years, learning stuff that's gonna be rendered completely useless once I get out into the industry (presuming that I can even survive 3 months), and working with people whom I would normally not even talk to coz I'm just not on the same page with them most times.

I just can't be bothered anymore, trying so hard and getting naught in return. I've spent so much time, money, and effort on a course that in retrospective, is just plain stupid to enter in the first place.

The best people I've worked with do not come from FSV. They come from TP, Laselle, wherever. God knows what they feed them there.

This is not an attack on FSV, or on FSV people. I'm not any better than anyone in FSV frankly but I do try my best. I'm just so sick and tired of this farce.

I just want it to end.

And this post is probably gonna make a lot of people go 'wtf is this guy's problem he also like fuck!'

Hur. Expected.

Friday, November 18, 2005


I dunno if ya'll feel like this sometimes but,

sometimes when I feel like the world's gone crazy, sort of spinning the other way round, I keep it all inside and quiet until it's all gone sort of crazy and turbulent and I just let it all out and just sort of bounce all over everywhere and anybody and I just can't stop till the world starts rotating normally again.

It's really just my way of trying to be in control without being controlled because being uncontrollable without being in control just sort of puts you in a neutral zone where you can just take time out to figure stuff out and to make everything better again.

Sometimes I think the moon shines brighter than the sun and even though I know it's just reflected light, I feel much better in knowing that it's a cool light and not like the sun which is just a gigantic heat source that gives off light as a by-product.

The sun bleaches out the sky, and makes it too harsh and too bright. The moon, it's just perfect. A little something in the dark sky that makes it easy to hope that everything will be okay one day. When the sun hits the earth, it's spin spin spin and before you know it, the day is over and it's back to the moon to make everything alright again.

Sometimes I just feel like I've got to say something and maybe, finally, tonight, I've gotten it out.

Vroom 2B

10 fucking points YEAH!

Imma ryddah.


Was eating dinner just now with my mom reading the papers at the same table and we just suddenly started reminiscing about the years gone by. And 2 particular incidents crossed my mind.

When I was still in kindergarten, I got into a fight with one of the kids there. Teachers pulled us apart before we could do any real damage (yeah right, how much damage can two 5 year olds do hahaha) to each other. When I got home that night, I told my dad about the incident and he told me, "the next time the bugger touches you, just give it to him". Somewhere along those lines.

Fast-forward to 12 years later. 17 and just about sick of the world. Got into some argument with some guy that's about 40 years my senior. Stormed home before all self-restraint was gone. Ranted to mom. Dad was there. Guess what he said?

"Just give it to him la the bastard!" After that, he just walked into his room to sleep.

My father's not a talkative man by nature. He tends to keep to himself. But when he feels strongly about something, he does something about it. And I guess he expects his son to do the same.

Ever had one of those days when you felt that finally everything was going right and you just want life to be forever like this? I had one of those moments today, talking to my mom, until I realised that half of my family isn't even around three-quarters of the time and it was just this woman that's fighting hard to keep us all together.

That made me feel like shit.

Thursday, November 17, 2005


I often stay at home in a bid not to smoke any more than I usually do.

I usually succeed.

But now I just want feel that harshness inside my chest, the thing I've been craving for most of today. Gah.

"I will in the now hate you"

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


If I eat anymore, surely I'll explode.

Just finished reading this great book with a really lame ending called My Sister's Keeper. Basically about a family who has 2 kids and the daughter gets some rare form of leukemia and they needed a donor and as the brother was not a match, they genetically engineered a baby in order to have that perfect match and now that baby's grown up and is suing them for the rights to her own body and the other daughter's dying and the brother's a junkie and an arsonist.

I suck at describing storylines.

But anyway, it reminds me a lot of my own family, including the three kid thing as well as the hospital trips and ahhh.


Fuck that.

TP test tomorrow. Godspeed.


If I don't shit soon, I'm gonna fucking explode.

TP test for bike this thursday. Godspeed.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Life! sucks.

The album reviewers in the Life! section of the straits times really have got to dig the ear wax outta their ears and wipe the shit away from their eyes.

In today's issue of Life!, they slammed Coheed and Cambria's new album... and they can't even get the names right i.e The Suffer (it's 'the suffering' you fucking moron), and Good Apollo I'm Burning (YOU MISSED OUT THE 'STAR IV', DICKWAD). They even went so far as to compare Claudio to a castrated lion.


'Self-important', 'overwrought', and 'pretentious', are just some of the words they used to describe the album.


Sure, compared to the past two albums they released, it's not exactly their best work (I still think the 2nd album's better), but it's a fantastic piece of work as a standalone!

And I'm not defending them because their one of my favourite bands (I think The Used's first album was great but their second album is totally fucking shit).

I don't get it.

Yes, listeners of CO&CA, seethe. Feel the rage, the fury, and the indignation.



Another bombshell was just dropped on my head, although I saw this one coming. Nevertheless, I can't do shit about it and now I feel like :|

Yeah, I'm feeling so :| that I can describe my mood in an emoticon. Just fucking brilliant.

Basically, I'm fucked for at least 3 years till I get a proper permanent job. Think of signing on, just to get out of this vicious cycle.


Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I've gotten a new drug.



Monday, November 07, 2005

The rainy day sundown.

Haven't been posting for the past few days as I've been quite busy living life, seeing things, spending time with friends.

Quite lovely actually.

Otherwise, life has never been so uneventful, to the point where it's starting to become worrisome. No job, no money, no motivation, no hope. Ah fuck it. Such are the joys of life anyway.

Will be taking part in some photography competition with merv and wan and our team name is Quiet Riot. Hahaha confirm got a lot of old people take part then see us three young punks like wtf ^^.

I think my brain is slowly melting.