State of Zen

Break my bones and make me bleed coz there ain't any other way to make me feel alive.

I'm fuckin' blanked.

Angwee ah!

I was reading through my old blog and I'm amazed at how naive and optimistic (+ immature, foolish, and lovesick ) I was just a mere 3 years ago.

I wonder if I were to read through the archives of this blog in another 3 years, would I feel the same way?

I do miss feeling optimistic, I do miss feeling love (this feeling is absolutely foreign to me now), and I definitely miss being naive and stupid. Just that stupid impulse to do well in school, get my licenses, and other such idealistic stuff.

Yeah big fucking deal. Now that I've got my academic wishes fulfilled (graduating GPA of 3.56), got both class 3 and class 2b licenses, got 'sort of' regular jobs coming in, where the fuck does that leave me?

I've wasted the best years of my life doing this shit when others were having fun and enjoying the best years of THEIR life. I only regret that I didn't cherish the time spent in secondary school and poly. Wasted so much fucking time on prepping for the future.

Don't even fucking mention the band. Yes it's still a sore point with me and it will always be a sore point.

I wish I could say this with more emphasis but since I can't,

fuck it.

Cool.

I know He's there, I just know.

Yeah, we're cool like that.

stop.

This is where everything stops.

Stop.

Junkie love

auralorgasm:: Corrine Bailey Rae - Put your records on

I have totally, absolutely, unbelievably, junked myself out. Been working like fucking crazy these past few days. 15 hours, 18 hours, 11 hours, 13 hours. Fucking fuck, I'm worn out like an old tyre.

Added to that, I've been smoking like a chimney, guzzling chocolates like mad (think Augustus Gloop , eating whole bags of chips and drinking fuckloads of high sugar level drinks, while on set. I feel like... urgh.

I think Corrine Bailey Rae's Put your records on is really good. I'm reminded of The Format when I hear that track. Shite, so much commerical radio these past few days and I think only one track is good.

Oh and maybe Madonna's new track. Hahaha.

Never though I'll say that, ever.

Priceless.

auralorgasm:: Secret Garden - Adagio

I was sifting through the inbox of my school-given email account recently and I came across this gem. It was titled "Blogging - A Great Experience!"

No shit roflmao. Cheggit:

***

Guide to a Great Blogging Experience

For a great and meaningful blogging experience, it is good for you to be aware of some key issues relating to online interaction and idea exchange.

This guide serves as a roadmap for constructive, respectful, and productive dialogue between NP student bloggers and others.


Be mindful of what you discuss on blogs and other forms of online discourse because what you write will remain public for a long time, so be aware of the need to protect your own privacy.


If you publish a blog or post to a blog with subjects associated with NP, do make it clear that you are speaking in your personal capacity and not on behalf of NP. Use a disclaimer such as this: "The views on this site are my own and do not necessarily represent the views of my school.”


You’ll have to refrain from discussing or disclosing confidential and proprietary information of any organization (including the Polytechnic) with any other person or organisation on any blog.


Also remember that you should not use the Polytechnic or any staff’s name to endorse or promote any product, opinion or cause.


Be respectful to the Polytechnic, your lecturers/tutors and fellow schoolmates. Do not use ethnic slurs, personal insults, obscenities, etc. Show proper consideration for others' privacy and topics or content that may be considered sensitive, objectionable or inflammatory -- such as race and religion.

Respect copyright, fair comment and financial disclosure laws.


Whenever you are in doubt of any blogging issues, feel free to approach any of your lecturers.
It’s always better to be sure than sorry.


***

Oh sure doesn't seem like the school's trying to *cough*ineffectively*cough* brainwash us. Hmmm.

What fools. Just another reason why I really dislike people over the age of 40. Unless they're my mom and dad. And certain other cool people. Like uhm, whoever.

And of course, as usual, the views on this site are my own and do not necessarily represent the views of my school.

Ahem. ;)

Mannequin lookout

Mannequins wanted. Cracked and spoilt ones wanted. Not cracked and spoilt, not missing legs and arms, don't want.

But if you have those perfect ones, and is willing to have arms, hair, legs, and face smashed, you're welcome to lend it to me.

It's for a personal project. THANK YOU.

Of Imogen Heap and Mutemath

The fucking mosaic people refuse to pay me because of one stupid incident which they blew up themselves and therefore kena fuck by the directors of Esplanade. Fucking fucking fuck.

Gah.

Add on top of it all, I keep on forgetting to lock my gate when I enter the house. Zzzz.

And after so long, I still haven't gotten sick of Mutemath's stuff. So bloody amazing. Come to think of it, Frou Frou's Imogen Heap's solo album is quite good. There's one track in which she mixed her voice acapella style with midi.

Phwoarrrrr. Nice.

Tai Yang

Oh and The Suns is gonna play 7.30pm on Sunday (which is later on) at the Esplanade and I'm still contemplating whether to go because I don't wanna see the production people, ever.

But then again it's the prodigal sons of our motherland!

Such a dilemma.

Bah.

Fuggin fuggin fug.

Life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon life will get better soon....


but yet I fail to see the reason why it should.

ONE DAY I WILL EARN 15K/MONTH I SWEAR IT.

But not while I'm sitting on my ass on the sofa at 5.15am getting ready to watch Futurama with a big bag of Lay's sour cream chips and a glass of water beside me. I do it to destress, but I don't accomplish anything else other than destressing and I definitely can't work towards that fuckin 15k pay cheque while doing it but yet doing it is a necessity I have to do because I'm so sick and tired of work that I'm sick and tired of everything else and because of me being sick and tired of that I risk repeating myself and also typing sentences without proper punctuation or grammar.

I hate vicious cycles. Such a chore.

Fleerance.

The fucked up thing about freelancing is that you don't get paid till like a few months later. I've got about 1k that's yet to be paid to me and I'm currently in debt to a tune of four to five hundred bucks.

Worst thing is, I'm working like mad everyday but still got no money. Really dunno to laugh or to cry.

But overall, quite happy with life. I feel quite contented.

But there's ALWAYS something missing everytime and this time's no different. Sigh.

I smell dead people.

Btw I cut my hair (although everyone I know couldn't spot the difference. HOW CAN IT BE WHEN I CUT MY PONYTAIL OFF nnb cheebye).

And I got to get a pair of new shoes. My old pair smells like dead bodies coz of work. Gah.

Post Grad

I think I like post-grad life. Just finished a pro-bono shoot and had a couple of jobs come out of that, not to mention many contacts as well as countless friendships established.

Can anyone say, WRAP PARTY?!!?

Wahahahahahaha.

The only fucked up bit is my bike. Keeps leaking engine oil and have spent quite a bit trying to repair that fucking thing. Fuck fuck fucking hell.

Heh.

I'm broke, tired, and confused.

But I feel good coz pre-ns life's not looking too bad.

Finally, be able to hang out on saturday after about a few fucking months of work. IT'S FINALLY OVER.

Guess I'm still in shock hur.

Le Femme Nikita

Sexy, slim, wild, dangerous, fuck yeah. I'm in love.

Introducing... Le Femme Nikita! Maybe Nikita for short.

Down part is that I stumbled into the hidden costs trap which is gonna set me back maybe 300 bucks. Sigh.

Anyway, I finally realised what my greatest pet peeve is. Nope, not stupid people though stupidity does rank high in my shitlist.

It's people who do half-assed jobs of stuff. Kena like mad since the start of the year and just by dealing with this bike, kena another one. Wah lan eh sibei dulan one. But fuck it, I'm getting sidetracked.

I'm a happy boy for now. :D


Le Femme Nikita.