Thursday, September 23, 2004

Bic Runga.

auralorgasm:: Bic Runga - Listening for the Weather

Dig this song.

Haven't drummed since the day I hung out with Marcus. Gotta keep my wrists and coordination unrusty. Will be drumming for The Model Lipstiques' music video tomorrow. Hmpf. Wonder what'll it be like.

I feel so disconnected. Days pass so fast, much too fast. I wish I could just take a step back and take a breather but at the same time, I want to drown myself in my work. It's time to save my grades. But I think getting getting Cs for some of my modules in this semester in inevitable. Darn it.

Some of the things I do really make no fucking sense to me, even when I'm doing it. And it's not just work-related. Gahhhhhhhh.

Watched One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest today and I think it's a really great film. Anti-establishment, I liiiiiiike. Reminded me a bit of Ngee Ann Poly heh.

This ain't life. This really isn't what I ought to be doing.

I'll be going to Cambodia sometime in the near future. Hopefully I'll get my leg blown off by a landmine. I wonder how that'll change my perspective on things. Most probably not very much. But it's worth a try. I want to take a camera, a video camera, and my own bloody crew, and go out and just fucking shoot many many many narratives. Fuck it all. I want to do so manyyyyyyy things. I want to feel alive. I want to feel human. I don't want to be a fucking robot. I want to have friends, I want to have relationships, I want to spread my arms wide open, to hug the wind. I want to breathe in deep and actually feel air filling up my lungs. I want to run and run and run and run and run and run and never stop. I want to drum, I want to make music, I want to smile. I want to laugh, I want to scream and shout and wave my arms in the air. I want to mosh and to headbang. I want to listen to so much music that my soul will just fucking soar right out of my body.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

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