Heavy Metal Jeng Jeng Jeng.

Yessssss. I finished up about half my proplan already wooohooo. Okay now I can take a break while figuring out which film to do a thesis paper on. Sian ah.

But I still love school. I can't imagine doing anything else other than FSV. The only other thing I can profess love for is anything to do with biology. I just love knowing how organic stuff works. Man, now that is interesting.

Jammed with Marcus and gang just now. Initially I was scared that I would be really rusty since I haven't drummed in ages, but thankfully, everything turned out fine. Gotta oil my engine more often. Hmmm, that sounded sick.

I think I'm starting to become more like myself 3 years ago. More giving and more magnanimous, as opposed to the present short-tempered, petty me. That's good. Must be the company (or lack of) that's causing the change. It's not a big change, its a gradual one but I think it shows promise. I feel optimistic. And that's really saying something.

I can still bite one's head off though, so don't fuck around with me.

I've gotta learn to let go of some stuff. It's hard, bordering close to impossible but yet, it's the only way to go. I've got to get over that sense of betrayal if not it's gonna fuck me up and I'm gonna spend sleepless nights brooding over it.

Sometimes it just feels as if the entire world is collapsing around me but yet, I stand calm and composed in the middle of the chaos. It's not that I'm unaffected, it's just that I can't find the motivation to be bothered by it all. I know this contradicts the above paragraph but fuck it, it's not as if I want people to understand me. I've learnt that no matter how long people can claim they know me, they still won't understand me. It's not that I'm difficult to understand, you just have to try a little harder with me than with most people.

Sigh.

But I'm climbing the spiral, slowly but surely.

:)