But I don't wanna.

I don't owe you, or him, or her, anything.

So don't talk to me as if I owe you shit. I don't and I never will.

I'm trying really hard to keep my temper in check and everything at peace this few months but it's really tough when so many screwed up things happen. I don't want to lose my cool and just blow it but it's just so difficult.

I help because I can and I like to. I try so hard to be a friend because I know the feeling of not having friends. And at the end of the day, at least I can say I've tried. I really did.

I don't want to stop trying. I don't want to become 'Julius the angry kid' again. My anger is something which I cannot get rid of but which I'm trying to control. My fuse still burns out fast but I restrict myself. And everytime I do that it hurts me physically. My chest tightens and I cannot breathe proper. It costs me to grit my teeth and bear it, and it hurts even worse mentally.

I'm not being a pushover, I'm just fucking trying to be nice.

So fuck off and think again if you think I owe you.

Coz I fucking don't.