Weevils in thy Heart.

It just suddenly occurred to me that I'll kick myself to death one day for all the stupid things I've done and the relationships I've burned.

It's not that I don't appreciate it, but more like I can't. I JUST FUCKING CAN'T.

I appreciate the fact that people actually bother making friends with me. I just cannot appreciate the people themselves. People come, people go. All the fucking time. It's not to say I'm afraid of rejection, or I'm afraid of getting hurt. It's more like I can't be bothered even if I wanted to.

Looking through the past years of my life and what I've done over the years, really bothers me a lot. Yes, I have issues, I have lots of issues. I can't solve them myself because I don't know how to.

I've been proclaimed the rudest person he's ever known by one guy and the most straightforward person by another. Not that I care of course, but the former says it's quite damaging to relationships. I admit that, but I just can't stand how people beat around the bush in the name of social ettiquette. WTF.

Or it may be that I'm just retarded and evil and very inconsiderate of other people's feelings or maybe even that I'm selfish and I care only for myself. Whichever floats your boat.

I'm an extremely bad person who should be kept in isolation, far away where I can't hurt people even if I tried.

I wish somebody would hurt me as I've hurt people.


Another warm and fuzzy picture to contrast my mood.