Peace

I'm experiencing a weird feeling of peace and contentment right now. There's complete silence about me other than the sound of my fan blowing and the faint sound of cars driving by outside my window.

Okay fine so that's not complete silence but I'm still feeling peaceful.

It must be the cloudy sky, the cool breeze and the fact that I smoked a stick half an hour ago that's affecting my mood. I won't mind feeling this way forever. This is my idea of heaven.

Which brings another idea into play. Won't be a total bitch to find out that when you die, the atheist was right all along? That once the human body goes into decay and the heart finally stops, what might be awaiting your 'soul' may not be a happy pink place with candy floss clouds and lollipop flowers but eternal oblivion. That you may not see, feel, hear and touch ever again. No love, no hate, just eternal slumber. A sleep which you can never wake up from.

Yeah I know I'm supposed to be christian and believe in God and Jesus and whatnot but I'm human too. I do question my beliefs. Sometimes I get so scared that I shake myself physically and bitchslap myself mentally.

I don't wanna scare you guys too much so I shall just stop here.

Ahhhh but for the moment, life is too good to be true. Alone and without friends to bug the shit out of you, woooo I'm feeling good bayyybeeee.