As my leave slowly draws to a close, I find myself getting more and more depressed. I want to remain outside and work, lead my own life, do my own shit without someone telling me what to do, when to do, and how to do. I want to follow my passion, expand on something which I'm good at, make it work out for me.
I want to be happy and carefree, or at least as close to happy and carefree as it gets. Which seems to be can't-be-bothered-fuck-off kinda thing.
Fuck no, I'm not good at being a soldier. To be honest, I totally suck at it. Yep, that's right. I SUCK AT BEING A SOLDIER.
They should have fucking aptitude tests for the army. I would have failed everything instantly. I could go my whole life without ever stepping into the bloody jungle. You know, I'm all for tree-hugging and forest conservation but if this goes on, I'm changing my stand.
Cut down every single tree please. I don't care about soil erosion or the oxygen/carbon monoxide balance. In fact, I wouldn't mind stepping on concrete and breathing from tanks if it comes down to that.
But shit still lands on me and I still got to book in tomorrow. Very sian.
I'm going to close my eyes and imagine for this whole year that '07 never came about and we'd skip right to '08, when I'll finally ORD.
No, not happy new year. Fuck that. I'm waiting for '08.